Pity Party

Right now I'm having a pity party for myself. I know I'm over tired, worn out, and just feeling crappy, and that is where this is coming from.

Pat got out of work early yesterday--now early around here means he arrives home around 5 p.m. This was one of the first nights that has actually happened since he entered this S3 shop. We wanted to run a few errands including buying a humidifier for Ryan's room to help with his coughing.

When we got home from the errands, I was feeling terrible. I ended up starting my vomiting shortly after arriving home. In the middle of the getting sick I had to get two kids down for bed. (That is my responsibility around here because 1. Sean is breast fed and 2. Ryan likes when I put him down and is not used to Pat doing it.) Thankfully the kids went down pretty well. I continued to vomit for hours. I would pass out in my bed only to wake up to get sick some more. Thankfully by about 11 p.m. I had gotten everything out of my system.

Now today I am no longer vomiting, but I just feel like absolute crap. My body and head aches, and the idea of food makes me feel ill.

Now for my pity party, I am just feeling bad for myself because I'm feeling so sick and Pat has duty today. This means Pat left at 8:30 a.m. and will not come home until tomorrow morning. Yes, I understand that this is what it could be like when he is deployed. In fact I had a very similar day to this when he was deployed. I guess I had just consoled myself after the deployment thinking that he'd be here to help the next time around. I just get frustrated that while in Garrison, I'm still doing everything alone.

Don't get me wrong, I understand why he isn't here and I don't blame him. I am just feeling ill and wishing he was around. I get that some people have it worse when their husbands are away. I'm just feeling crappy and expressing it in my writing.

I can say that while Pat was around last night he was very nice to me. He came into our room every time I was vomiting. He rubbed my back and brought me a drink. I am very lucky he was around to tuck me back into bed. He is a great husband. I am lucky to have him even if he can't always be around to help.