December 21, 2011

Getting Over It

I know I've been complaining quite often.  I sound like such a downer.  But with this most recent blow, I feel overwhelmed with emotions with no place to release them.  So thus, I'm coming to my space to release my pain.

I'm having a hard time getting over the change in our plans.  I think this is mostly because I haven't been happy with certain aspects (although they are kind of large aspects) of our life for quite a while.  I have not made it a secret that I do not really like where we currently live.  I have tried to make the best of it and complain as little as possible.  I knew it wouldn't change until Command was done.  I had survived 4 years here (and two deployments).  Not only was there a light at the end of this tunnel, but it was more than just getting to some place new.  We were getting to a dream location.  We would have been 1 hour from our families.  We would have been near friends.  Pat would have had his perfect job.  Everything was in place.

I'm finding it so hard to put that smile back on my face for another year here.  I know being unhappy isn't the way to live, but so many things here lead us to feel that way.  Neither of us is happy with the way things currently are.  We had so many plans that we've had on hold for so long waiting for this move that are now not only delayed a year+, but our options are not going to be anywhere near ideal like they were this time.  I know we need to make some changes, and we are planning on big ones.  But again, we must wait so long.

 It's just that everyday I face a reminder that we are not moving forward.  There were so many things I thought I'd be doing at our new home and new location.  I thought this would be our last Christmas here.  I thought we'd be able to celebrate with family next year.  I thought the kids would get to start a new school.  I thought we'd be decorating and painting the boys bedroom and making a nursery.  I can still do some of that, but not how I wanted knowing we'll be putting the house on the market.

So that is where I'm at.  We're traveling home to spend this holiday with family.  We were also planning to look at houses and meet Pat's new boss.  Some of that is cancelled.  I'm just going to try to enjoy the time with my loved ones and forget about what we're going to least for now.


December 17, 2011

Two Little Words

I hadn't mentioned yet that things were falling into place for our next assignment.  The stars were aligning so that Pat was going to get an awesome assignment at a location we couldn't have dreamed of actually getting.  It's NOT an exotic place that people want, but it was perfect for our family, our needs, and our future.  I didn't want to say anything for fear of jinxing it.

I shouldn't have worried about that though.  I should have known better and realized the Army has NEVER given Pat anything he wanted, and this time would be no different.

It's not the end of the world, but two little words ruined so many hopes, dreams, and possibilities.  I bet you are wondering what words, right?


The month before Pat's already scheduled change of command a stop move order is going to go into effect.  Pat will not be changing out of command.  We will not be pcsing.  We will not get any closer to family.  We are stuck here and unhappy.    

To say we are upset would be an understatement.  We had been waiting on the next part of Pat's career since he graduated the Captain's Career Course FOUR, yes you read that right, FOUR years ago.  Now we wait some more, but the sad part is the assignment that we had won't be available for us again.    

I'm sure I'll have more to share about all the effects of this in future posts.  It just feels kind of raw right now.    

December 14, 2011

A Year Ago

A year ago today I was getting ready to pick Pat up for R & R.  I remember it being hectic and exciting.  I remember Ryan's emotional reaction.  I remember Sean getting sick that night.  I remember how great 2 weeks with my husband was after he'd been gone so long.  You can read about his arrival home HERE.

It's funny how time works.  After the summer left and we had settled back to normal, the memories of this rough deployment seem to have faded.  I appreciate that, but it also feels weird to think he hasn't even been home a year yet.

Speaking of not being home a year yet, can you guess what word is being thrown around now?  There is a formal meeting about it today for spouses.  The dreaded D is coming again.  We may be pcsing before (you never know with the Army though), but my thoughts and heart are with families that are going to be receiving this type of new so soon after getting their loved ones back and right before the holidays.

Today I will enjoy having my husband home for more than 2 weeks this holiday season.

P.S.  Thank you all so much for the kind comments on my last post.  Your support is greatly appreciated and truly means a lot to me.

December 10, 2011

What I haven't been saying

I know I have been neglecting my blog.  My updates have been a bit half hearted.  I'm going to explain what's been going on now.

I'm about 12 weeks pregnant.  It's great news.  We are so happy and excited.  I still feel really nervous and even cringe a little about typing it out for the world to see.

But it's also been hard.  I've been sick.  I'm a lucky one that doesn't vomit (most of the time), but that doesn't equal feeling good.  I feel nauseous all day long.  I feel like I want to be sick.  I feel yucky.  I feel emotionally unstable.  I almost feel depressed between the emotions and the physical effects.  I know it sounds really woe is me and all, but it's the truth of how I've been feeling.

I was really looking forward to pregnancy again.  Since this is possibly our last pregnancy I promised myself that I would be so grateful and try to enjoy every moment and milestone of the pregnancy.  While I am so very grateful for this pregnancy, I have come to realize I am not a woman that enjoys pregnancy.    I'm not trying to convince anyone to feel bad for me.  I am lucky and I know that, but it's been a bit hard the past few months so that is why I haven't been around much.

As I said I'm still really nervous.  We've heard the heartbeat, and I saw the baby yesterday.  Maybe I'll post that story later.

December 8, 2011

Holiday Spirit

I haven't been feeling very festive this year.  I know I'll be feeling the holiday spirit more in a few weeks when I travel home.  Until then though, I seem to be missing it.  We aren't decorating for the holidays, I didn't do Christmas cards this year, and it's just kind of sad to be glossing by the holidays.

One quick way I'm finding my holiday spirit is in a warm cup of hot chocolate.  My in-laws sent some Christmas stuff for the boys.  Included in the package was a box of peppermint Peeps.  They are VERY peppermint.
So I decided it would be great to use them in hot chocolate.
 I placed a peep in the bottom of my mug.
Used my keurig to brew the hot chocolate on top the Peep.  It melts from the hot water.  And I was left with minty hot chocolate.  
If you can't find peppermint Peeps anywhere there is an alternative.  I found peppermint mini marshmallows at the grocery store.
 I brewed it the same way.  The mini marshmallows are a little less minty, but it is still a delicious and warm treat.

December 7, 2011

Photos From Ryan's B-day

I wanted to share a few photos from Ryan's Birthday since my last post was lacking pictures.

My sweet 4 year old boy!

Covering his eyes before presents.
New Toys!

 Sean usually gets a new toy or two on Ryan's Birthday.
 It was awesome to see so much joy on his face.
 Sean was pretty happy with his toys too.

Ryan had this cake picked out for months before his birthday.  When we go shopping at Sam's Club, Ryan likes to check out the cupcakes.  One day he saw transformer cupcakes.  From that day forward it was pretty much decided that transformer cupcakes were the only option.  

As someone who enjoys decorating cakes, it was hard for me to buy the cake, but maybe next year he'll let me make something again.

It was a great day, and I'm pretty sure Ryan thought it was a great birthday too.  

November 28, 2011

4 Years!

Happy Birthday Ryan!!!!

4 years ago today Daddy and I headed to the hospital to bring you into this world.  We were excited and a little bit scared, but we felt so ready to meet you.  From day one you were overflowing with personality.  When you came into my world, I finally knew what I was supposed to be doing with my life.  You have made every day joyful.  You bring so many smiles into this world.  You are funny, smart, and caring.  You love to pretend and have quite an imagination.  Any words I could write about you here just won't do you justice.  You are one of a kind, buddy!

Everyday I know how lucky I am to be your mommy.  I hope you have a GREAT 4th birthday.  We love you with all our hearts.  Please stop growing up so fast big boy ;)

Love, Mommy

November 25, 2011

Black Friday Birthday.

I find it rather appropriate that my 30th birthday falls on a day referred to as Black Friday.  I haven't quite been looking forward to saying goodbye to the 20s.  I'm no longer a 20-something.  I feel like that makes me old (well, at least in the blogging world it seems to ;)

I could now tell you about my past 30 years, but the only things I need to say are that I've learned so much, figured out who I am, and know a bit more about who I want to be.  I've made mistakes, but overall, I'm pretty happy with where I am as I enter 30.  So instead of looking back, I'm looking forward to these 30-something years.  I have a few goals in mind.

Here's what I want during my 30's:

*I want to get my body into the best shape of it's life.  Sure it would be nice to look good, but really I want to do this one to FEEL good.  I want to feel the strength that I know my body has.  I want to be fit.  And I want to enjoy what it can do.

*I want to spend more time on things for me.  I devote myself 100% to my family.  That won't change, but I do want to put a little more time into passions for myself.  Maybe working out like I said above, or knitting, decorating cakes, crafting, or whatever.  It doesn't have to be just one thing; I can enjoy lots of them and I hope I do.

*A goal that Pat and I are trying to work toward is planting roots closer to family.  This one is so important to me.  To know that I'm 30 and not there yet makes me feel a little sad, but we're working on our plans.  We have to do it right to ensure stability for our family.  So fingers crossed and prayers said, maybe we'll get our dream to come true with this one.

*Since my 30s is a long time, this one is for my mid-late thirties--find something I can do to make money for our family.  I save it for my mid-late thirties so that the kids will be in school by then and I'll have time.  Being a mom is my number one priority.  I have some ideas of avenues I'd like pursue, but only time will tell.

*And most of all to enjoy my kids and husband and never take a day with them for granted.

So there you have it.  My plans for the next 10 years.  I'm pretty sure that this will be one of the only posts for a while that I mention my least until I get used to this new number :)

I hope you all enjoyed thanksgiving.  Happy Black Friday Birthday to me.

November 22, 2011

Christmas Plans

When Pat and I got married, I knew we'd be moving far away from family.  This wasn't exactly the kind of life I had dreamed of as a little girl, but Pat made it worth it.  While we did travel home sometimes for the holidays during our newlywed years, I knew it wasn't going to continue like that.  I wanted to have my own family celebrations and traditions.  My ideal would be living in easy driving distance so that we could celebrate at our home and then travel to be with family too.  Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that from TN.

So what are we doing this year?

We're traveling to see family.  Shortly after Christmas we'll be putting our house on the market and by the spring (fingers crossed) moving elsewhere.  I guess because this will just be a home in our memories soon, I don't feel the need to stay here this year.

I'm really excited to spend time with my family.  I am looking forward to seeing the boys on Christmas morning at Grammy and Grumps' house.  It is really special to me because the boys will get to experience a Christmas just like the ones I had for so many years.

And I'm hoping for a white Christmas, but it just can't interfere with our travels to and from there.

Who do you spend the Holidays with?  

November 21, 2011

Medical Care Battle

If you've been around Military spouses often, you've probably heard at least one or two complain about the medical care.  I have some opinions on it, but I'll spare you that.  My family and I also see a handful of civilian providers and the problems exist there too.  It isn't just a military thing.

Anyway, I'm getting a bit frustrated for Ryan.  I've been asking the medical professionals for a while about a recurrent issue, and am getting no where.  It is frustrating to feel like you are not being heard.

We've been told casually by a few medical professionals that Ryan seems to have allergies.  He frequently has telltale symptoms going on.  However, these "allergies" are through all the seasons, so I'm not sure what they are to exactly.  Coincidentally, during the winter months Ryan always seems to end up with a persistent cough and similar congestion.  The cough doesn't respond to medicine very well.  Recently I asked his old doctor how to handle the allergies and I really wasn't given an answer.

The last time he was having an issue was right before Pat came home from deployment.  I was told that he had allergies that caused inflammation that then travelled down and became bronchitis.  He needed lots of meds and a breathing treatment.  I'm no doctor, so I cannot confirm the accuracy of what I am told.

Yesterday, Pat took Ryan to the clinic on post because he said his ear hurt.  We assumed he had an ear infection.  Turns out he doesn't have an ear infection, but rather he may have pneumonia.  They gave him antibiotics and cough medicine and sent them on their way.  This could 100% be an isolated issue.  However, I'm getting worried that this is part of the recurrent issues we are constantly dealing with.  The poor little child gets sick so often.  If there is anything I can do to prevent this I want to know.  

Thankfully I need to schedule his 4 year check up anyway, so I can follow up then.  It will be with a new doctor and I just hope that he will listen to me and help us keep Ryan healthy.

November 20, 2011

"I want my Mom."

I like to believe that I am a strong, independent woman that is capable of handling a lot.  I feel like I've proved this over the past few years.  I'll admit that there are moments of weakness, and during some occasions when it feels like I've been circling the toilet bowl both physically and emotionally I want to go back to childhood.  When these low moments hit me, I sometimes find myself longing for my own mother to swoop in and take care of me.  There is something about a mother's comfort that stays with children all their lives, and the idea of having no responsibilities myself seems so easy in these moments.


I hope that I'm able to give my children the same comfort, love, and closeness that my mother provided for me.  I want my boys to remember me taking care of them and the safe feeling a mother's care gives a child.  I hope that even when my boys are all grown up, they'll have these same fond memories of me caring for them.

And don't worry about me, I am fine now.  I just wanted to share this observation that I had about wanting my mom.  Does anyone else ever want to go back to the days when someone would tuck them into bed and care for them?


November 16, 2011

Faking It

Have you ever had some things going on in your life that you weren't quite ready to share with your blog?
That is what is going on here.  I have a few things in life that are taking over my brain and my heart, but the time to share them on this blog just isn't right yet.  That's why I've kind of gone MIA from the blog world.  I never intended to stop blogging, and I really do plan to come back to it.  However, I feel like I'm being fake if I try to write like normal and am avoiding an elephant in my reality.

But there are some things I WANT to blog about, like my upcoming (BIG!) birthday,  my Ry-Ry's 4th birthday!, maybe even our holiday plans.

So I guess I just want to say I haven't forgotten about my blog.  It's not that I don't care about it or all of you that take the time to stop by here.  I just need a bit of time to sort some things out and then I promise you'll hear all about it.  


November 10, 2011

I spoke too soon.

I spoke about the kids being sick too soon.  It hasn't hit me yet--knock on wood, but yesterday I got a call from Ryan's preschool that he wasn't feeling well.  I was already on the way there.  When I got to him, he looked pitiful.  He would only mumble answers, and I could tell he felt sick.  Before we took off to go home I gave him a bag and a big plastic cup in case he needed to be sick.
A few minutes into the trip home he almost cried out saying "my belly still hurts".   And then he began to vomit.  Half watching him and half watching the road, I yell "cup!" and he proceeds to get sick into the cup.  He did an amazing job controlling himself to follow that direction.  At the stop light right before our road, I notice Ryan has fallen asleep right as I hear "SPLAT!"  I begin to yell "cup!" again.  He was tipping the vomit cup all over the floor of the car in his sleep.  I couldn't help but laugh at how this was turning out.  
I guess you could say I got lucky that most of the splat landed on a toy ad the kids had in the car.  I didn't have too much to clean up.  I did a quick clean up of his car seat, started the laundry, and then proceeded to lay in bed with two little boys.  Ryan vomited most of the day.  It hit him hard, and hopefully the worst is over now.  

Please send me all the good vibes you can that I don't catch this too!

November 9, 2011

Sick Kids = Tired Momma

The past week or so I've been consumed by nursing the boys back to health.  It started with a cough and a couple bloody noses for Ryan.  Coughs really affect Ryan and medicines only help him feel relief about half the time.  Shortly after Ryan got over his illness Sean was hit by a bug.  He started vomiting in the bed the other night.  I am so thankful I was with him that night in his bed because he sleeps on his back, and I'm not sure he understood why he needed to roll over to prevent chocking.  It was scary for a second there.  I brought him to my bed where he continued to get sick 3 or 4 more times.  He didn't have a fever, so we thought it was probably just something he ate.  We finally went to bed around 2:45 a.m..  Upon waking up at 6:00 a.m.  Sean needed an emergency trip to the bathroom, and after that I would assume he had nothing left in his system.  Yesterday Sean was acting very normal (although tired from the night before), so I thought it was probably over.  After his nap he seemed a little off and was starting to run a slight fever.  I went to get the tylenol, and he began to vomit all over again.  I brought him in to the clinic on post.  Pat met me there.  Ryan was a complete monster the whole time because he didn't get his energy out that day.  Finally after 7 p.m. we were headed home with some anti-nausea medication for Sean.  Because the idea of him getting sick in his sleep is so scary, I decided to sleep with him in his bed again.  He was running a slight fever through the night.  He slept pretty restlessly, which meant very interrupted sleep for me.  He needed a trip to the potty at 4:50 a.m. and then Ryan got up around 6:00 a.m.

To say I'm tired would be an understatement.  Pat has been an amazing help though.  I don't know what I would if he were gone right now.  While I hardly ever admit it, this is one of those times where I can say I could totally use a break from my life just for about 24 hours.  24 hours of me in a bed with the tv and a comfy pillow.  I would love some peace and quiet...and sleep.  

November 1, 2011


Over the past weekend and yesterday we did lots of celebrating for Halloween.

This weekend we did some trick or treating with a town run event.  There were so many people there, but I think it is one of the great free events the town has for kids.  It's the events like this that I'll miss when we move.  Here are the boys getting ready to go.  Sean just woke up from a nap and wasn't so sure about costumes and trick or treating.  He warmed up to it quickly though.

We carved some pumpkins and even made a cookie house.  I didn't get a photo of the cookie house before the boys started pulling the candy off it though.  For the pumpkins Ryan wanted a happy pumpkin (white one) and a scary one for Sean (orange).

Yesterday Ryan had his Halloween party at school.  He went as a knight.

And then last night was trick or treating around the neighborhood.  Again Sean was a little unsure about the whole thing until he realized he was collecting treats.  The boys had so much fun by the time they were done.

I hope everyone had a Happy Halloween. I'm really excited for all that November has to bring.  

October 31, 2011

Random Acts of Kindness

There have been a couple times in recent weeks where I was so thankful for kind strangers.  I think random acts of kindness are awesome.  (Yup, I said awesome....for lack of a better word.)  

Do you preform random acts of kindness?  I can't really say that I do.  I should.  I think we all should.  I would love to, but I just don't seem to find the right moment.  That feels like an excuse though.  Maybe that will be a new goal for me.  Find ways to show random acts of kindness at least once a month.  If I do follow though with it I don't think I'd blog about it though.  That would be like tooting your own horn.

One of the random acts of kindness I received was simply a lady parked next to me at the grocery store offering to take my cart back for me while I loaded the kids in the car.  It may not seem like much to you, but to me it was a very kind gesture that made my life a bit easier.  I hope that lady realized how much I appreciated it when I thanked her.  

The second time I received a generous act was just this past week.  While Ryan was at school Sean and I went to target to pick up the new Winnie the Pooh dvd.  Sean tends to walk slowly through stores and get distracted by each display.  To encourage him to walk with me I kept telling him we'd go get the Winnie the Pooh dvd.  A man on a motorized cart smiled at Sean and said hello.  He asked if he was getting the Pooh dvd, and I told him we were.  We went on to the dvd section and picked out the Winnie the Pooh dvd (plus a Chuggington dvd upon Sean's insistence.)  On our way to the registers the same man from before was coming back our way.  He stopped me and told me he was going to be picking up that dvd but decided to wait until next week and wanted to give me his $5 off coupon.  I thanked him greatly and Sean and I went to pay.  I passed him again on the way out from the registers and again said thank you for his kindness.  

I hope these people know how much they brightened my day.  I hope they feel good about themselves, because I think they should.  They inspire me, and I hope that I can bring some simple joy to someone else's day on a regular basis too.  


October 26, 2011

My Next Home

This spring Pat and I will be moving.  We do not know where we will be going yet or even what Pat will be doing.  There are some dreams we are trying to achieve, but only time will tell.  Even if those don't work out, we have some options waiting.  With another move comes another house.  With 3 dogs, renting is usually out.  So we'll be buying again, but this time we plan/hope to make it a long term home.

So I've been thinking a lot about what I want in a next house.  Because this is a home we plan to keep, we want it to be the RIGHT home for us.  Here's a list of what I'm looking for:

  • two living areas.  One could be a finished basement.  I just want to have a living room that can be clean and then a playroom we can live in.  
  • a fenced yard.  This isn't a must because we can always do it ourselves, but if it's already done that is a huge plus.  
  • I really want to have 2 baths.  Some of the locations we are looking at don't necessarily have this in the older houses.  
  • decent size bedrooms (3 or 4).  If the boys ever end up sharing a bedroom it will have to be a good sized room for that to work.  The master bedroom only has to be big enough to fit my furniture. 
  • MUST have 3 of the decent sized bedrooms on the same floor.  I will not compromise on this.  I don't want the kids on a different level.     
  • either a big kitchen or a separate dining area near the kitchen.  Right now my kitchen isn't large and the eating area is right in the kitchen.  It is closed off from the rest of the house.  While I'm not too specific on what the next one must be there is a definitely feel that I'm looking for.  I do not want to feel cramped.  
In some of the places we may end up it seems the perfect layout for us is a raised ranch.  It generally has the living room upstairs and a family room in the basement.  There is also typically a dining area right next to the kitchen.  So really it seems the tougher points to find will be 3 good sized bedrooms, 2 baths, and a good yard.  Did I mention how much I would love to have a house near a park or playground?  

What are your musts for a home?  Am I forgetting to consider anything?


October 25, 2011


I've been a bit overwhelmed lately.  Do you ever just feel like your plate is so full that sometimes you drop things?  That's what has happened to blogging lately.  I have lots of post ideas and things to tell you about, but my problem seems to be that I have very little time to do it.

Last week Pat was "in the field".  I'm used to being alone, but it still takes all my energy and time taking care of the kids.  By the time I get them to bed, I just need to chill out with some me time and shut down.  I'm thankful for all the new TV shows on because they allow me to stop thinking for a while and just relax.

Speaking of bedtime though, Sean is being a bit difficult.  He feels the need for me to cuddle him every night until he is asleep.  And right now as he is teething, he's a little more clingy with me than normal.  And this whole routine gets worse when he starts fighting sleep just to stay awake with me longer.  We have to make some major changes with his bedtime routine, but I'll let the teeth come in first.

It seems Pat will have many late nights this week and goes back to the field next week, so I have the feeling I'm going to be feeling rundown for a while.  So that's where I'm at....I am looking forward to catching up with all your blogs soon.

October 18, 2011

Quick Updates and Early B-day Gifts

I know I haven't written a few days.  I guess I had lots going on.  Last week was school break, so the kids and I had to find ways to keep busy.  We had a new roof put on our house last week, doctor appointments, and just busy stuff.

My birthday present from Pat came early.  My birthday isn't for over another month, but I certainly don't mind getting the gift early.  I got an iphone 4S.  I didn't have an iphone before, and I guess I felt like I was missing out.  Now that I have one, I'm not completely sure why I needed one, but I'm very happy to have it.  As soon as I get over my fear of breaking it, I'm sure I'll be using the camera and posting pics more frequently.  Anyone have any apps to recommend?

To go along with my iphone I needed a cute case of course.  Pat helped me pick out the right one.  Isn't it cute?
I'm trying to get over a little sickness the kids gave me.  I'm going to take it easy at home today.  Hopefully I kick it really soon so I can feel more like myself and then maybe get a good night of sleep too.


October 11, 2011

Frog Prince Cupcakes

I really enjoy decorating cupcakes and cakes.  I am not the best at it, but I guess that doesn't matter if you really like doing something.  One of my favorite places to find ideas for cupcakes for the kids is Disney

I saw the cutest Frog Prince cupcakes on there and just knew I had to make them for Sean's Birthday.  You can find the directions Here.

I wanted to have frosting all over mine, so I decided blue could be the water.

Next I made the eyes.  You'll need some green gum drops.  Cut them in half.
 And you'll also need some marshmallows and chocolate chips.  Cut the marshmallows in half too.
 I found the best way to make the eyes was to stick the chocolate chip into the cut side of a marshmallow half and press down.  Then take that and push against the sticky, cut side of the gum drop.
 Repeat until you have all the eyes created.
For the mouth, place a green fruit slice onto the cupcakes.  And in case you have trouble finding fruit slices near you, I bought mine from
Then place the eyes you created right behind the mouth.
Now you'll need to make a crown for your frog.  You can use yellow or orange Starbursts.  Cut two small Vs out of the top.  Don't worry if the cuts aren't smooth.  You can mold the crown to make it look better.  Then take a tooth pick and push the crown onto it.
Push the crown into the cupcake just behind the eyes and you have a Frog Prince.

That's one frog I wouldn't mind kissing ;)  Enjoy!

linking up here:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...