What I'm Loving

I feel like I'm in a good place now and there is so much to love right now. I thought I'd share a few things with you.

*I'm loving the Lisa Leonard necklace I just ordered from GroopDealz.  Click on the link if you want to buy one too; the deal is around for a few more hours.  The necklace is called You Can Fly-- and the description is "This little birdie is the perfect reminder that sometimes you just have to take a leap in order to fly."  I just could not pass it up.  A reminder like that is so vital to a few things going on for our family right now and in the near future.  So I informed Pat that he bought me a great gift and thanked him.  I even told him I could write a great love not and sign his name to it if he would like, but he said he'd sign it himself ;)  For $19, this deal is something I'm loving.

*I'm starting to feel a bit down about how I'm looking lately.  I know I'm pregnant and weight gain is normal, I'm just feeling a bit yucky since I can see I'm gaining weight in more places than the belly.  (I did with my other pregnancies too of course, but this time I am already seeing it in my face, thighs, arms, butt, etc.  And I still have months to go)  So this weekend I made a quick trip to a Clinique counter.  I have always had dry lips, but right now they are very bad.  I picked up All About Lips which feels (and looks) like a moisturizer that you put on your lips.  It help to stop them from flaking.  So far I'm pretty happy with it.  My lips are much less dry.  While I was there I also wanted to pick up a new color of the Chubby Stick Moisturizing Lip Color Balm.  I have the graped-up color, but wanted something a bit lighter for spring.  I bought mega-melon and LOVE it.  I highly recommend these little lip sticks.

*Last night we had a hail and farewell with Pat's unit.  It was held at the bowling alley on post.  We were able to bring the boys.  This was their first time bowling, and they had so much fun.  When Ryan saw Pat this morning the first thing he said was that he wanted to go bowling again.  We'll have to take them again in a few weekends.  Maybe I'll snap some pictures next time.  

*Tomorrow I leave with the boys to go visit family for two weeks.  Originally this was planned when we thought Pat was going to be in the field, but that was cancelled.  But then it was still a good plan because our house was supposed to be on the market, and I was going to go house hunting for our next home.  Unfortunately, that plan was destroyed by the Army too.  So now I am leaving Pat for two weeks without much reason, but on the positive side I get to spend all that time with my family.  I am looking forward to seeing them.  (However, I'm not looking forward to flying with the boys by myself.)

On My Mind

With any quiet time I find these days, I'm realizing how certain parts of my life are like necklaces tossed into a jewelry box that get knotted and tangled.  They are completely different necklaces that you would want to wear separately, but because they were tossed in the box they are affecting each other.  It's funny to think about how much completely different aspects of life can impact other parts.  (Does that even make any sense?  It does in my head, but I'm not sure it's coming out right.)

One thing that has been on my mind lately is how people are always chiming in on how others raise their children.  I feel pressured to fit into molds.  I keep hearing my kids have to do this, have to know that, must be able to do such and such by a certain age.  Who makes up these rules?  Why do we have to follow them?  Lately I've felt a lot of people imposing their standards onto my children, especially Ryan.  And being that Ryan is my first child, I feel like I succumb to the pressures of what to do/not to do.

It's a hard place to navigate.  You don't want to ignore what people say for fear that you may be missing something, but if you blindly listen to everyone, you may not hear your own mommy voice calling out what you need to hear.  I know as a parent we know our children best, but how do we know when to push our children vs. when to say mind your own business to other people.

Sometimes with all this I begin to feel like a failure.  I feel like I'm lost and confused.  I want to feel like I know exactly what I'm doing and what needs to be done.  Maybe that's wishful thinking about parenting though.  I don't know.  I think I've just lost my confidence lately.

24 Weeks Update

I'm about 24 weeks pregnant now.  I feel like the time between 20 weeks to 30 weeks goes by pretty slowly.  Things are going well.  I feel the baby move a lot.  Somedays she moves more than others.  Usually I feel the movement down very low still.  I have Pat feel the baby move frequently, but it sometimes freaks him out feeling something moving inside me.  Lately no food has been satisfying to me.  Nothing tastes good these days.  It doesn't taste bad, but it just seems blah.  I've never felt that way in pregnancy before.  I'm sleeping okay--not great, but I'm getting by.  I'm feeling pretty big, and I still have a lot of time to grow.  I suffer from heartburn almost every day.  Overall though, things have been going great.  

We haven't bought almost anything for baby girl.  We did buy a carseat though.  Ours is old, and I caught a good deal on amazon.  We haven't purchased any clothes though.  I'm not sure why we haven't.  I feel like we need to make a shopping trip soon.

During my first two pregnancies, I was hoping for boys.  I was really drawn to boys clothes with cute little animals on them.  This time I was secretly hoping for a girl and have found an appreciation for all the pink and ruffles.  It feels like I'm exploring a whole new world with the girl stuff.

I did it again.

I did it again.  I've signed up with one of the home based sales companies.  I know that some people hate the idea of these sales, while other people think they're fun.

This time I've signed up to be Scentsy Independent Consultant.

You would have thought I'd learned my lesson already from the past few experience I've had with stuff like this, right?  As soon as I signed up, panic rushed through me.  I was immediately concerned that I had made a mistake.

But I feel like there are a couple things that make this different.  First and foremost, I really like the products.  I enjoy having a clean smelling home, a fresh scent in the car, and the smell of clean laundry.  Scentsy products fit in with my life, and are things I use daily even if I weren't selling them.  I like that the scents are warmed without burning.  Plus you are capable of changing the scent frequently without much expense.  And there is a whole new line of products coming out next month that I'm excited to try.

The second aspect that really made me decide to become an independent consultant was the flexibility that Scentsy provides.  Unlike most sales companies, did you know that with Scentsy there are not quotas that have to be met?  You only have to place one order (any amount) during the 6 month period from July 1-Dec 31.  So at least I won't end up throwing money away.  If I sell stuff great, if not at least I can buy my own items.

Before you all start worrying that my blog is going to become a giant sales pitch, it's not.  This is my personal blog, and it will remain that way.  I'm only sharing this with you because it is part of my personal life.  I know these types of things aren't for everyone and that is fine with me.  I just wanted to share my apprehension and excitement with all of you.  

If you would like to shop Scentsy products, you will find a button that links to my personal website in the sidebar.  If you want to ignore everything in this post, you can do that too.

The Point of No Return

I'm going to try not to complain about the whole Army situation going on with our life this week on the blog.  Remember the key word is try.  And don't worry, I'll update when I have news.

So last night I reached the point of no return.  You could call it a new low in my pregnancy.  After the kids naptime and before dinner, I started having a HUGE craving for dessert.  I wanted pie, cake, or pastries.  Ice cream simply wouldn't do.  I was starving.  With dinner in the oven I went to the one place I should go when craving sweets.  I logged onto Pinterest and browsed all the deliciousness.  However with each recipe I saw, I realized I didn't have all the ingredients I needed on hand.  I was whining to Pat and showing him all the pictures.  My cravings were getting so bad that I felt like I belonged in the movie Breaking Dawn, and at that point I almost wanted to chew on Pat's leg.

The craving lasted so long that after dinner I headed out to Walmart to the bakery.  Anyone that knows me must now realize how strong this craving was.  I usually do not like going out to the grocery store unless I am doing weekly shopping, and I really do not tend to go out in the evenings.  On the drive there I thought the craving might be subsiding, but I couldn't risk it and come home empty handed in case it reared it's ugly head again.  So I bought myself a cherry pie and some danish for breakfast and headed home.

3 slices of pie while watching the oscars.  I'm sure my husband is wondering just how big I'm going to get during this pregnancy.  I'd like to blame the fact that I ate very little dinner on Saturday night because I wasn't feeling well for the uncontrollable appetite on Sunday.  I've got to blame something!  That was ridiculous. I hope I don't find myself that hungry again for a long time.  

Bedtime and Lack of Sleep

I'm tired.  Or maybe utterly exhausted fits better.  I'm worn out mentally and physically.

The whole are we moving or are we not has taken a toll on my spirit.  And by the way, now they're trying to push back the next assignment and have it held for Pat until the winter.  I am kind of doubtful of that working, and I'm pretty much just feeling done with dealing with their "plans".

I'm sleeping terribly.  My body is fat.  I feel like I have less energy this pregnancy compared to my other two.  Maybe that would be because I'm getting older and now I'm trying to keep up with TWO little boys.

 So here's a question for you.  Who puts the kid(s) to bed in your house?  Do you share that responsibility or is that one person's specific task?

I'll be honest and say that lately I'm hating bedtime.  Pat won't/cant put the kids to bed, so every night it falls on me.  Before the boys shared a room Ryan went down really well, and Sean needed me to stay with him.  Now they both feel like I should sit in their room "all night", which really just means until they fall asleep, but that could be over an hour.  I refuse, and they call for me repeatedly.  It ends up I have to yell at them almost every single night, and that just makes me hate bedtime all the more.

And to top it off one or both of them seems to end up in my bed almost every night.  Last night 2 hours after I went to sleep, I woke up to Ryan coughing.  Ryan has an allergy issue that affects him the most at night.  I'm pretty sure his stuffed animals were irritating his allergies.  So he ends up in my bed.  I get him more medicine.  He coughs about every 8 seconds.  I cannot stand the sound of coughing...I know I have a weird pet peeve.  So I cannot sleep and decide deal with the stuffed animal issue now.  The doctor told me to put them in the freezer every so often for about 24 hours to kill the allergens.  We'll see how it works.

I finally end up back in bed and Ryan's cough has quieted down, when shortly after that Sean starts crying in his bed.  Pat has a Division Run today, so I knew it wouldn't be good for him if we had both kids in the bed.  I run to Sean's bed and lay with him for a while.  5:00 a.m. Pat comes to see where I am.  I was awake and leave Sean's room to go back to my own bed.  Then from 5-7 I had some glorious sleep, but it isn't enough.

Between all this, I've been snappy and mean quite a bit.  I need to focus this weekend on getting back to good through quality time and relaxation.  I'm sure next week will look better.

It Continues

I couldn't make this up...and I really wouldn't want to make this up.  Remember the roller coaster I've said we were on about moving or not?

Well, last I blogged the move was on, the house was going on the market, we were looking at houses at our next location.  Our timeline was tight, and I was stressed out.  But this is exactly what we wanted so it was finally working out for us.  We've been investing boat loads of money into making the house ready to sell and fixing issues that may come up at inspection.

Today, 4 hours before our house goes on the market, Pat's boss calls and says that the Commanding General got involved.  They got the orders deleted for 9 people, and Pat is one of them.

I cannot explain how upset, surprised, angry, etc we are right now.  Have I mentioned that I'm paying for a storage locker that is now filled with 1/2 of my household goods and ALL my kids toys.

So now it looks like we will be getting out of the Army.  Job hunting is started big time.  It is a terrifying idea transition to the civilian world.  I know that it may seem like a rash decision based on emotion, but it has been on our minds for a VERY long time.  It's been almost 8 years in the military, during which we've felt yanked around on a short leash.  We want a bit more freedom and choice.

We'll see what happens next I guess.