While Pat is deployed, I've been taking videos of the boys with my cell phone. The quality isn't very good, but it's something for him to see. The most recent one was while the boys and I were sitting at the table eating lunch. Ryan and I started hiccuping, and Sean thought it was hilarious. You can see that video HERE. It immediately brought back memories because during Pat's previous deployment I have a very similar video of Ryan laughing at the same thing. See that video HERE. After filming the video of Sean, I went back and watched the video of Ryan. I was absolutely amazed watching it because I realized that Ryan's laugh is exactly the same today as it was way back then. So now I'm trying to picture Sean's laugh that I have on video on him when he's older. I cannot picture it, but it is so cool to realize that this is the laugh he'll have even when Pat returns home.
Another instance where it dawned on me that things are still the same even with change is watching Ryan and Sean play. Ryan and Sean really enjoy playing with our big fleece blanket together. Whenever they do this, the room is filled with laughter and I cannot help but smile. Ryan's favorite thing to do with this blanket (which sometimes drives me nuts) is putting it over his head and walking around. I didn't think about it until today, but I remember that Ryan loved doing this soon after he started walking. It was right before Pat came home that Ryan would always put the blanket over his head and pace the living room. He thought it was a complete blast, and I was always afraid that he'd hurt himself. I just get such a kick out of the fact that even now 1.5 years later, he still does the same silly thing and thinks it's a ton of fun.
This realization that things are the same has been very comforting to me recently because as I've been watching the boys grow and play, I get really sad that Pat cannot experience it. He's missing so much. Now that I see that things are the same even after Ryan has grown so much, I feel like maybe Pat will get to see these same things I'm seeing today but in a slightly different way when he comes home. I am also happy to know that the little baby Ryan from way back when is still inside my big boy Ryan. It makes me look at Sean in a slightly different way to know that the little baby I hold today will be the same personality and character only bigger in the future.
So while my kids are growing and changing so fast, I am put at ease to know that even as they grow up they'll always be my little babies.
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