August 24, 2008

The Great Debate

Since there are only a few faithful readers of this blog, I figure I'll let you in on a secret.  For a while I've been in a mental debate going back and forth about whether we should stay in the military after Pat's time is done.  If this were a year ago, I probably would have said we're definitely staying in.  Surprisingly, Pat is having this same internal conflict, which is something I never expected.  Being an Army Officer was Pat's dream, but I think the reality of it is just hitting both of us now.
There are some great things about this lifestyle:  the benefits and job security just to name a couple.  However, the real downside is me raising our family alone.  Knowing how much he's missing out on is really taking it's toll on Pat's happiness.  Being so isolated and lonely is wearing me down too.  There are also a lot of other issues leading to a bit of unhappiness with Pat's career right now for both of us, but I won't go into them here.  
There is definitely a part of me that wants the normal life where Pat comes home from work and we eat dinner together, or spend weekends as a family.  Pat and I both would like me to be at home with the children until they enter school.  A major question is what would Pat do if he did get out?  That question brings the scary thought of starting all over again in the civilian world.    
I really don't know what I want in this situation.  We have quite a bit of time to think, so we don't have to make our minds up anytime soon.  All I do know is that I want to be a family again.  

3 comments:

Devon said...

Such a tough decision, Shelly...When is Pat's time up? Would you move back to MA if he got out?

Shelly said...

Devon, Pat owes until 2011 now, so we have plenty of time to think about it. I think we'd really be willing to live anywhere (although I prefer the east side of the country), depending on where the jobs are. Even though we have a lot of time, I still think about it every now and then.

Mroszczyk Family said...

Like I said the other day, we are having the same thought process. I think that I am pushing Joe to stay in, and I don't know if that is really what he wants. But, we are going to try to get back to West Point so that he can get his Masters and then teach there. I just don't know...you will get through this and figure it out together. Not much longer :)

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