Patience

As you can see I got a new blog layout. Isn't it beautiful? I absolutely adore it.

Along with my new blog comes a new title, "Our Motto Is Patience". You may be wondering why I chose patience. Here is how my new title came to be:

Around the new year I began thinking about having a custom blog layout made, but before I could commit to a new look, I knew I needed a title for my header. I thought long and hard. I even looked up all my favorite quotes, poems, and lyrics to songs. I couldn't find anything that fit just right. I sometimes kept Pat awake at night trying to come up with something that would represent me in the blog world. Of course, Pat fell asleep before we came up with anything, and I decided to wait for a new layout until I found what I was looking for. A few days passed, and I wasn't any closer to figuring it out.

***

Monday, January 25, 2010 Pat worked late again. We had just had a long and rough weekend; I was sick Friday, Pat had duty all day Saturday, and then Pat was feeling sick when he came home on Sunday. By Monday I was completely exhausted. 8:00 p.m. rolled around, and Pat hadn't left work yet. I was overtired and lacking patience. Sean decided to push his normal bedtime late, so he was up and fussing as I tried to put Ryan down for bed. Ryan and I followed his normal bedtime routine, but Ryan was not quite tired yet. I on the other hand was desperate for some quiet time. I took Ryan to the potty, and then we headed to his room to read some books. I read a few books and tucked him in. Our normal routine is that I read him some books, then rub his back for a few minutes, and as I leave we blow each other kisses. On a normal night the routine goes smoothly, and there are no problems with bedtime. However, on this night I rushed through the stories and didn't stay as long as I should have to rub his back. I could tell he wasn't quite ready, but I left his room anyway. As I sat in the kitchen preparing to put Sean down to bed, I could hear Ryan getting out of bed to come to his door and cry. Ryan has a quirk though, whenever he gets out of his bed he goes over and pulls his nightlight out of the wall. He likes having the nightlight on while he sleeps, but for some reason he feels he should take it out of the wall when he doesn't want to be sleeping. As Ryan began to cry, I listened hoping that he would go back to bed on his own like he's done so many times in the past. I heard him heading back to his bed, but then I also heard a loud "Bang!". The crying was muffled for an instant but then restarted with force. I ran to his room, and he jumped into my arms. I rocked him and asked if he wanted me to read him more books. He got right back into his bed ready to read when I realized he had a large lump on the side of his nose near his eye. It was already rather swollen, and he was still upset. I grabbed him from the bed and hurried him into the kitchen. At that moment as I rocked him, Pat walked through the back door finally coming home from work at 8:30 p.m. I showed him what had happened to Ryan, and I called my parents to ask what we should do. Ryan's nose had started to trickle some blood, and I was extremely worried. While I was on the phone with my parents I even noticed that he had burst some blood vessels in his eye. At that point we decided Pat should bring Ryan to the emergency clinic on post right away. I had to stay home and put Sean to bed, but I couldn't stop worrying about my little boy. I talked to my family, and they helped me immensely. However, nothing could stop me from feeling guilty. In many ways, this accident was my fault. It was a result of my lack of patience. If I had shown more patience dealing with Ryan that night, I wouldn't have half-assed bedtime. If I had put more effort into the bedtime, Ryan never would have gotten out of bed. It was my impatience that had caused Ryan to have his first big boo-boo.

Ryan ended up being just fine. He had a bump and a couple good bruises, but that was all. We still do not know what he stumbled into in the dark, but we assume it was his bed. That night while waiting for them to return home from the ER, I decided that patience was going to be the key to not only my blog title but also my life. From that night on, I have vowed to have more patience with my children even when I am overtired and run down.

I also need patience as an Army wife. As all my fellow military spouses know, patience is vital to surviving the military life style. Often times the Army throws us a curve ball. I would never be able to last as an Army wife without patience, especially during deployments.

Very recently, my two very wise parents reminded me of something that I frequently overlook; I need to have patience with Pat. I find myself getting frustrated with him much more than I should. Sometimes it is because he works so much that I feel like I hardly see him, and other times it is based on how he handles the children. I know that Pat does not want to work late or miss out on so much time with the family. I needed the reminder from my parents to realize that Pat is learning how to be a father after having missed so much during deployment and from his long daily schedule.

With all this in mind, Pat and I decided that "Our Motto Is Patience" is quite a fitting title. It is very true that we all need patience in dealing with our lives. I find patience is especially needed for me with my children, the Army, and with my dear husband. I hope that each day that I come to my blog it will serve as a reminder for me to live my life practicing patience.