January 26, 2011

Patience: A Year Later

My blog has a new look.  I really wanted to refresh my blog, simplify the design, and lighten it up a bit.  I am so happy with how it turned out.  Shay over at Dumplin Design Studio did my design.  I used the pre-made template, and she was super fast and easy to work with.  Go check her site out.

As I began thinking about doing a new look for my blog, I was thinking a lot about my title "Our Motto Is Patience".  It was never in question whether to keep it or not.  However, I realized that I could not bring myself to go back and read my original post about it:  Patience.  I thought about why it was so hard for me to go back and look at this one particular post.  I knew why I didn't want read it.  I still felt my emotions from the night that brought me to my blog name very clearly.  I can feel the failure I felt for myself that night even now.  The guilt is still with me.  I knew I wrote that post when the wound was fresh, and I wasn't sure how it would feel to read that now.  Today I went back to read it.  I was a little struck by the date.  Apparently, the incident with Ryan that led to my blog name happened a year ago yesterday.  It's funny that exactly a year later I was working on another new blog design.  It also shows me just how far we've come over an entire year.  As for reading that post, I'm proud of what I wrote as the explanation for the name.  It still holds true today.  I am at peace with that night now.  I can see my faults, but I no longer blame myself.

And now patience is still playing a large role in my daily life a year later.  Listed below are the areas in which patience is vitally important as of today and for the coming year.

*Now, exactly one year later, Pat took command.  I know that I will have to be patient with the long hours and weekend phone calls that will drag him away from me once he returns from the deployment.  This is an opportunity for Pat to prove himself, and I must be patient while he handles all the responsibility that comes with that.

*Patience is extremely important for keeping my sanity during this third deployment.  I have sometimes limited and crappy communication with my husband.  I have two little boys that are demanding and can occasionally leave you feeling like you are at the end of your rope.  Plus in addition to all that I have a house and three dogs to also care for.

*I imagine that patience will be helpful with the reintegration process when this deployment comes to an end.  I saw during R & R how much the separation has affected Ryan.  I know it will take everyone a while to get used to being together.  Living together after a deployment is always a bit new because you get so used to being alone.  With Pat coming back to the parenting world there will be an adjustment in our parenting roles.  These are all things I look forward to, but I know that without patience it could lead to tension.  

Our motto is still patience.  We try to find it in our daily lives while dealing with the kids, the Army, our spouse, and all the minutiae of our lives.  It's still a struggle for me not to lose my patience, but I think that is something I will work on for the rest of my life.  Each day that I try to be patient is a day in which I learn and grow.

3 comments:

Silver Spoon, Paper Plates said...

I like the new look! Good luck with continuing to live patiently---that's a difficult, but conquerable goal.

Alison said...

I love the new layout! And I agree about having patience, I think it's something we can all use a little more of.

addicted2shius said...

I love your new look! And if you figure out the key to patience, please share!!

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