A Sigh of Relief

I had a whole different post composed for today.  It consisted of me saying that I wasn't handling juggling three kids (and three dogs) so well while my husband is away.  Sure, I've done three deployments both with and without kids, but recently with three kids alone I'm feeling overwhelmed.  It doesn't matter what schedule I implement, my days are all the same:  feed kids and pets, cloth children, and repeat both steps countless times.

I was feeling really low.  When I tuck the boys into bed at night, I'm moody.  I wake up cranky and I go to bed even more cranky.  It's not how I want to live.  I felt like I could cry at any minute.    

And then things changed.  After dropping Ryan off at school Leah took at decent nap.  I was able to scrub the table, wash the dishes, and vacuum the floors, all of which were well overdue.  I think the good thing about being a poor housekeeper is that when I finally do get around to cleaning it makes such a huge difference.   And when the house is clean I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.

The weather was also pretty nice.  It was windy but a nice warm 60 degrees.  After picking Ryan up from school we took a short walk through the neighborhood and then played out front.  A little fresh air was much needed for all of us, and it was the first time in days where I was able to slow down and really focus on just the kids.

It's funny how these two little things, cleaning and getting outside to play, replenished my spirit.  I needed a lift.  I needed something to help me feel like my life was under control.  We all needed a change from our routine.  Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, I found relief through two very simple things.  For that sense of relief I am so very thankful and it could not have come at a more needed time.    

Enjoy The Little Things

Pat is away this week, and I'm trying to focus on the joy in everyday instead of the difficulties.  There is a quote that I love which applies to raising children:

Enjoy the little things for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things.  

--Robert Brault

Ryan has started helping Sean get dressed.  If it were up to Sean, he'd stay in his pajamas "forever" he says.  So getting him to put his clothes on is always a chore.  Ryan is such a good big brother sometimes.  

Ryan doesn't generally take naps anymore.  Once in a while I can get him to though.  The other day I had all three kids sleeping snugly in my bed.  It was such a peaceful and beautiful moment to watch the three of them together.

And of course there are the fun moments when the boys are being boys and jumping off the couch.  Their laughter is priceless.    

So while there are moments of fighting and disobedience, there are also moments of simple beauty and joy in every day.  I just need to remember to look for them.     

Organizing the Toys

After Christmas our house was overrun with toys.  Plastic pieces were everywhere.  When we had moved into our home in October, we made sure to only place a reasonable amount of toys for the kids in the family room.  However, after Christmas it was no longer reasonable.

I cannot believe I am going to show you these before shots.  Please don't judge me poorly from them, okay?

 This is what it looked like on a normal basis.

 
At Christmas, my Uncle had asked if we wanted a storage cabinet that he and my Aunt were planning to get rid of.  Of course I jumped at the opportunity.  I seriously LOVE hand me down furniture, and it was something I felt I missed out on while we were living so far away from family.  So this weekend my husband drove up to get the cabinet and bring it home.  We knew exactly where we'd put it.  And you guessed it, we would use it to store some of these toys.

So here are the after photos of the room.  Much better, right?

We put some of the big play sets and coordinating toys inside the cabinet.  The two brown storage bins (from Target) have large toys that go together inside.  One is full of big dinos and the others with the boys' "big boots" toys.  We have a few toys on the upper shelf and the colorful small bins (from Target) are still empty.

We moved the storage bench over between the windows.  There are a couple of random small toys in two of the buckets.  

The room looks and feels so much better.  I am so thankful to my Aunt and Uncle for giving us the cabinet.  I am hoping that now that everything has a place it will be easier for the boys to help keep the family room clean.

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Some days I'm thankful for tomorrow.  Yesterday was a day where I felt that.

Without getting into the nitty-gritty my day was long and hard.  I didn't see the husband until 10 pm.  He was gone to work early and had school until late.  There were kids to care for, naps to be had, dogs to be fed.  There were three year olds accidentally stepping in baby's dirty diaper and walking on the carpet as I yelled "stop!"  A tired kid had to go to school.  Dinner was made, and the kids refused to eat.  I believe they said something like, "eww, what is this?  Can't we have something normal in a bowl, like cottage cheese or something?"    So the spinach lasagna casserole was not a hit obviously.

And as the last stab into my mommy heart, Ryan sang a song he made up after dinner.  The part that made me feel awful was when he sang, "Mommy is always busy, and Daddy works every day."  It's true.  I am always busy, but if that is how my son feels, I am failing.

The boys did not listen yesterday.  I didn't have patience.  There were tantrums and not just from the children.  It wasn't the way I intended it to be.  Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't all bad.  There were I love you's, hugs, and snuggles, but it wasn't what I would consider a good day.  

Today is a new day.  It is a new beginning.  It is a day I can make things right.  I can try again.  I can do better.  I can love more.  I can be more patient.  I can try to be more present and less busy.  I can live today like I should have yesterday, and that is just what I will do.  I am thankful that today is another day.  

"Another day has almost come and gone

Can't imagine what else could go wrong

Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door

A single battle lost but not the war  ('cause)

Tomorrow's another day

And I'm thirsty anyway

So bring on the rain"

Jo Dee Messina Bring On The Rain

Paper Heart Garland

It has been a while since I attempted a craft, and recently I've felt inspired to try some things.  Today I created a paper heart garland that was super easy.

Here is what I used:

Baker's Twine from Target dollar bin//12 pack of Doilies//12 paper hearts cut with a punch//Tape not shown

First I used my tape runner to tape the colored paper hearts onto the doilies.

Next I ran the bakers twine through the holes in the doilies.

 Continue until all doilies are strung on the twine and spaced how you want them.

Flip over the hearts and apply tape to the doilies and twine so they will stay in place on your garland.

When you have taped each heart you can hang your garland and enjoy the lovely paper hearts.

See, I told you it was easy.  I love the festive look it gives for Valentine's day.    

Randoms on MLK Day

A random post may be the only way to share all the things I want to say today.  So here it goes:

• Did you see my new blog design?  I love it.  I wanted simple with lots of white space.  I have been in love with the combo of Pink and Blue for a long, long time now.  Then I thought that Gold would add a nice touch,  and since Patience is a virtue and all it seemed appropriate.  
• Speaking of Pink and Blue, did I ever show you the tote bag Pat got me for Christmas?  I love it. It has the long handles I wanted plus the zipper.  

• This weekend the boys have been fighting over their old batman costume.  It happens to be a size 2T, yet they both squeeze their little bodies into it.  Notice Ryan (on the right in photo) looks like he is wearing capri pants?  Maybe I should buy some bigger costumes since they love wearing them so much.  

• Yesterday I sent Pat out to look at a piece of furniture that I really liked at Pier1 for our bedroom.  It was kind of expensive (considering that I am cheap).  Pat didn't seem all that interested, but took on the task of going to look at it to humor me.  Can you guess what he came home with?  The only one they had was on display and had a small area where the finish was rubbed off, so he got 10% off.  He even had competition trying to buy this one piece.  But the best part about it was that Pat was genuinely excited about the table when he saw it in person and thought it was perfect for our bedroom.  So our bedroom is finally almost complete.  There are elements of both me and Pat in there.  We are waiting on one more thing to arrive, and then I promise to do a tour post.   
• I've started reading Redeeming Love.  So far I really like it.      
• I'm hoping to fold laundry, change the beds, clean the house, and do some crafting today.  I'm feeling ambitious I guess.  What are you up to?  

It's Only Kindergarten, Right?

Whew, it's been a busy week.  Wednesday night I had a Kindergarten orientation for Ryan's school next year.

First, I cannot believe my little boy will be in Kindergarten next year.  And as I was looking around the elementary school, it makes me feel like he's so old now.

Second, I kind of hate that it is full day kindergarten here.  One thing I was looking forward to up here in MA was that it would be half-day kindergarten.  But no, our city changed to full day for everyone last year.  I know that some people really want full day, but to me it seems like a very long day for 5 year old.  Plus I'm not used to having him away from me for that long, especially not 5 days a week.  

Third, it is so intimidating knowing what is expected of kindergartners.  When I went to kindergarten it was a very social and play based curriculum.  These days there are very high expectations on the children.

Lastly, I'm just sad that we're starting "real" school.  My boy will take a bus.  He'll be gone all day.  He'll come home with homework.  Gone are the lazy days spent in pjs.  Our days of freedom are limited.

I know it will be an adjustment.  I know that I need to put on the strong face for Ryan.  I hope and pray that he will like it.  He loves his school this year, so I hope that continues to the new school.  But if I'm being truly honest, I'm kind of dreading it and really sad.  Now maybe those feelings will change once we start school.  I know getting things done with two kids in tow is a lot easier than with all three.  Maybe I'll enjoy having a little break.  I don't know.  But If I could slow time down right now, I probably would.

Did anyone else have some major freak-outs before sending your first child to kindergarten?    

My Son Needs Speech Therapy

My son needs speech therapy.  Well, actually for my family that needs to be plural.  My sons need speech therapy.  I know I've mentioned before that Ryan was in speech therapy before we moved, and now he's receiving his speech therapy through the public school here.

I guess from our experience with Ryan's speech, we thought it necessary that Sean be evaluated now too.  We saw some similarities between his developing speech and how Ryan's speech developed.  Sean was tested last week, and I had the meeting with the school yesterday.  His results were in fact almost identical to Ryan's results.

Both my boys have an articulation delay.  Their little mouths just aren't forming the words/sounds correctly.  So now Sean will also start receiving speech therapy.

I feel bad for Ryan because being our first child we often don't know what we are doing.  With Sean we can sometimes use our experience from Ryan to guide us.  Ryan's speech issue wasn't even looked at until he was a year older than Sean is right now.  I am thankful that we can learn from our experiences and apply the lessons where needed.  And now through my experience of two children with speech delays, let me share some things I've learned:  

1.  If you think your child has issues with speech, keep pushing to at least get him/her tested.  With Ryan I brought the issue of speech up to his pediatrician a few times.  The first pediatrician kept telling me that at each age you can only understand a certain amount of speech.  That was the trap though.  Pat and I could understand almost all of Ryan's speech because we had learned his language without realizing it.  Just because we could understand him didn't mean he didn't need help.  With Sean recently the pediatrician said that with him being so young if we could understand him he'd probably be fine.  Thankfully, I knew from experience and explained that we could not understand him a lot of the time.  So from that he recommended we have him evaluated.  I'm so grateful for the experience from Ryan that I knew better this time around with Sean.

2.  Depending on where you live there are various resources available to you, but you have to advocate for your child.  In Tennessee Ryan received private speech therapy funded by our health insurance.  Here in Massachusetts, Ryan is in the public school for his speech therapy.  Ryan gets his therapy during his days in Pre-K.  Now Sean will be getting his speech therapy sessions in the public school. Both boys have had IEPs established.  Maybe it's because we are new here, but the process has not always been clear.  There have been many phone calls to the learning center, and even now I'm still unclear on what will happen with Sean in preschool next year.  Thankfully I have time to figure that out.

3.  People will judge you and your child.  I notice it sometimes when we see friends and acquaintances.  People sometimes act like my children lack intelligence because when they speak people cannot understand.  I've even had a speech therapist start judging Ryan, and that is when I learned more about the need to advocate for your child.  As a parent sometimes I feel judged that I've done something wrong for both of my children to need help.  The speech pathologists have always assured me that I have done nothing wrong.  And I can assure everyone that my children are intelligent.  They have the words and skills that are appropriate for their ages; they just cannot express themselves so clearly with those words.

4.  Do NOT push your child.  I'll never forget when Ryan was two we had some company over.  Ryan wanted the baby gate open and said his usual word for that "abra".  First our company assumed that our son watched too much Dora and was speaking Spanish.  After I explained that he was saying open, the guest then continually tried to fix that word in Ryan's speech to the point where Ryan was frustrated.  My boys know how each word should sound, and they are trying to say it correctly when it comes out wrong.  It's just their little mouths are a bit behind in forming the correct sounds.  The speech therapists can push my boys.  I will reinforce what the therapists teach, but I am not going to be the one to fix my children's speech problems by continually pushing them with words all day long.  The therapists are trained to help them.  The last thing I want to do is push my kids so much that they shut down.  

5.  You are not alone if your child needs help, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.  Today parents focus so much on bragging what their children can do and how smart they are.  This creates pressure and breeds comparison.  You child needing help isn't something to be ashamed of, and anyone who thinks differently is just wrong.  Get your child the help if they need it.  Most of all remember to encourage your child and tell them how proud you are of them.

I Live With Joy in My Heart

I chose the word Joy to be my one word for 2013.  And I'll freely admit that I've struggled these past two weeks to keep joy in focus.  Somehow two days ago it fell into place.  Sure I'm probably writing too soon.  I know I haven't conquered my struggles, but I finally had a breakthrough though.

On Monday we decided to keep Ryan home from school.  The boys have been battling a cold, and as responsible parents we don't want to spread the germs around.  Usually on a full day spent at home I am guaranteed fighting from the boys.  Plus with sickness there is usually whining.  Miraculously there was neither fighting nor whining.  I accomplished the housework easily, and our day went along smoothly and peacefully.  It was nice to not feel stressed about getting Ryan to and from school or doing anything on someone else's schedule.  It was a relaxed day, and that made it so easy to focus on the little moments that bring joy to my heart.  

I guess it is clear that the stress of our normal schedule is a challenge for me.  While I cannot change our obligations, I can try to make it less stressful.  I've started to work on creating a routine around our schedule, but clearly these past two days have showed me that I'm not there yet.  I'm okay with that though.  I am a work in progress.  I can finally say that I'm starting to be able to spend more time focusing on joy, and now I know what I need to alter so that I can be more joyful.

How are you doing with your new year's word (or resolution)?

No Bake Strawberry Icebox Cake

I saw a pin on Pinterest for a very easy dessert recipe and had to try it.  It is a no bake icebox cake.  It only has 3 ingredients (4 if you want to garnish with chocolate).  You can find the original recipe from the pin here.  I cut it in a half for a small, quick dessert for my family.

Ingredients you need:
Graham Crackers
Strawberries (fresh or frozen)
Whipped cream/Cool Whip
Chocolate for garnish optional

Spread a thin layer of whipped cream in pan and top with graham crackers.

Top that layer with more whipped cream and add strawberries.  I used thawed frozen strawberries cut in slices.

Repeat the layers.  I think I had about 3 layers of graham crackers in the pan.

To garnish I melted some chocolate chips and drizzled it on the top.

Place "cake" in refrigerator for at least 4 hours before serving.

It is a super simple recipe, mostly just slapping together a few ingredients.  It tastes pretty simple.  I thought it tasted just like strawberry shortcake, but in a kind of cheating way.  

This is a great recipe if you are short on time to really make something.  Because it is in a "cake" form, it looks like you made a dessert, but in reality it was probably one of the easiest "cakes" you'll ever make.

Try this simple recipe.  Don't expect it to taste like something it's not though; it tastes just like it's ingredients melted together perfectly.  Enjoy!

7 Months Old

Another month gone by.  Leah is already 7 months old.  She's started eating solid food, well by solid I mean pureed veggies and banana.  We're just starting the fruits now.  She liked the orange veggies but green not so much.

Baby girl has two teeth and really seems to be working on the top two.  I say that now, but who knows when they'll actually cut.  She seems to teeth for VERY long periods of time before the teeth show up.

Leah loves jumping, rolling, playing with her little kitchen, and putting EVERYTHING in her mouth. She always smiles for her older brother Ryan, and Sean is constantly trying to snuggle her.

 Leah has perfected her serious stare, and that is the look she gives most people.  Most people haven't seen her real personality that she shows us on a daily basis.

She seems to be quite a mixture of sweet and mischievous.  Her smile is just so precious and genuine.  She doesn't show it too often, so you know she means it when you see it.

Whether I think it's a good thing or not, she's still my cuddle bug sleeping in my bed.  She feels comforted to reach out and touch my arm or face and goes right back to sleep.  I'm sure we're creating bad habits.  The other morning she rolled over and kissed me.  Some may have called it eating my face, but I like to think of it as a kiss.

My baby girl is growing so fast.  We've hit the period where babies start to really change and evolve.  As I always say, it makes me sad to see her grow up so fast, but I love all the new phases and experiences we go through.  

Etsy Finds: Signs

I like to support small shops, and I really enjoy browsing Etsy.  When I find something I just adore, I  tell you about it just in case you might want to buy one too.

For my birthday, I told my husband I wanted these two signs:

I've always loved the Family Rules signs, but I was particular about what I wanted mine to say.  I knew I wanted it to mention praying, and I definitely wanted it to sound positive and inspirational.  It even says "have patience," so I knew this one was perfect for my home.

I was absolutely delighted when I found the other sign in the same shop.  I blogged about Ryan saying grace.  I wanted to make a printout of this prayer, but this sign was so much better.  The shop owner even lets you customize whether it is worded friends or family.

I was able to choose the colors on both signs so they match the rooms perfectly.  You can buy them at Patti's Primitives.  My signs were the exact colors and specifications I asked for.  She was pretty quick, especially considering they are handmade.

I was not compensated for this post at all.  I bought these with my own money.  Patti doesn't know I've posted this.  I just wanted to share because I love them so much.

I Won't Look Back

I've often questioned the reasons I keep a blog.  I am not questioning why I blog, but rather what is the point of keeping a permanent record of my life.  The reason I ask this question is because I'm kind of contradictory about the whole subject.  

I want to keep a record of my life and all of the memories, but I almost always refuse to go back and read what I wrote.  I hope that my words will live on after I no longer write.  I hope it leaves my children a glimpse into who I really was--my thoughts and feelings.

I will look back at the blog to see what the kids were doing at certain ages, to view a picture if one of the links captures my eye, or of course if I'm looking for a recipe or something.  However, for any of the posts written deep from my heart, I cannot bear to read them.  But why is it that I do not want to revisit these important moments I write about?

Just the other night I heard the words that hit right to the point of why I despise to look back.  These words are not my own.  Would you believe me if I told you the advice I find so insightful came from Private Practice?

"Don't let the perspective you have now diminish the feelings you had then."

That is something I find so hard.  Over time we gain perspective, and with that perspective things can appear so different.  When I read the feelings I wrote in the moment, I often cringe because my perspective today has changed my point of view.  That isn't to say my feelings weren't valid in the moment, but I guess as they say hindsight is 20/20.  Sometimes I wish I had done things differently or other times reading the words from the past evoke such strong emotions that I've allowed to be left behind me.  I've lived my life and experienced the tears, joy, sadness, and sweetness that I write about.  I do not need to read about those moments because if I did, I'd be judging it and possibly diminish the feelings that I expressed in the moment.  However, I am perfectly content to leave my memories written as a legacy.  Maybe one day when my memory is failing I will be happy to read what I once felt, but for right now, I'm not looking back.  

It's Okay Thursday

Today, I'm linking up and saying "it's okay" to the following things.
It's okay:

*to feel almost instant gratification from making purchases using Amazon Prime and start getting addicted.  Hey, if it can show up in two days, why not?

*to think I'll drink more water if I have a pretty pink bottle with a straw.  And of course it was purchased from Amazon on a whim.

*to have your groceries delivered from Peapod because you don't want to venture out to the store with three little kids for a big grocery shopping trip.

*to be lazy and have pajama days sometimes.

*to meal plan a whole week and then not follow the schedule at all.

What are you saying "it's okay" to this week?



  

Follow Your Own Advice

Yesterday I posted this.  Yes, a post all about how to get the morning started right, and then I ignored ALL of it.  Yesterday morning I sat around in my pjs all morning long, and I certainly didn't put on makeup.  Heck, I didn't even comb my hair.  I didn't dress the kids.  We honestly were having a very lazy and unmotivated day.

And wouldn't you know that was the day my husband chose to spring a dinner guest on me.  Thankfully by the time hubby texted me in the middle of the afternoon to let me know about our company, I had already popped dinner into the crockpot.  That was about all I had done all day.  So not only was I unprepared personally, the house was a pit of papers and dog hair.

From the time of the text until dinner time we raced around cleaning and finishing cooking.  I kept thinking that if I had taken my own advice that morning my day would have resulted in a much different afternoon.  It certainly would have been easier and more organized.

So today?  You better believe that I laid out the boys clothes last night.  I have put on my clothes, combed my hair, and made myself ready to face the day.  The boys have their bagels.  The curtains are open and coffee has been drank.  I have learned my lesson and am making the changes.  Maybe I'll become a morning person...or maybe not.  Either way though, I am ready for today.

via

In Desperate Need of a Morning Routine

For me the morning sets the tone for the day.  If I am sluggish in the morning that will usually continue all day.  However, if I start out on the right foot, a productive day usually results.  Lately, I have not been on top of things in the morning, and that has translated to disorganized days.  Now that we are settled into our new home, new life, and new year I knew I was in need of a new morning routine.

Don't worry, I am not going to tell you how I have all the answers.  I don't.  I don't even have a routine established yet, and we are already a week into the new year.  However, I have found a few things that are giving a bit of order to our usual morning chaos.

*I am now showering in the evening because Leah screams the entire time I shower if she is in the bouncy seat.  Now this may result in a few additional bad hair days, but I'll take that over an upset baby any day.  Plus it allows me to get ready quicker in the morning.

*This may sound small, but it makes a huge difference for me:  open the curtains and let the light in.  When I don't open the curtains, I tend to stay in pjs all day as if I'm hiding in the comforts of my home. The nice, bright light of day gets me moving like no other.

*Getting myself dressed in real clothes and putting a little bit of makeup on motivates me to get stuff done like you wouldn't believe.  I think I feel like I don't want to waste all the effort I put into my appearance on just sitting around all day.

*Planning breakfast the night before is a priority.  Of course I feed my kids breakfast, but whether it is goldfish and packaged snacks or an actual healthy breakfast makes a big difference not only for their little bellies, but also for the trend of the day.  So to prevent the morning rush for food, I take a few minutes in the evening to think about what I'm going give the kids when they wake up.  If I have the food ready before they start asking for it in the morning that is a bonus.

*I wish I could say that laying out the kids clothes was on this list.  It's a great idea, but I haven't mastered it yet.  If I did I bet our mornings would be much easier.  So I guess you can consider this on the list of things I am still working on implementing in the mornings.

*Lastly, a hot cup of coffee (or two) doesn't hurt.

What are the keys to your morning routine?

Don't Judge *that* Mom

I have come to realize that I am that mom.  The mom that I would see at stores before I had children, and I automatically disliked her and felt sorry for her children.  That mom is in a bad mood, sounds nasty to her children, and just has a general pissed off disposition.  I always felt like the children didn't deserve to wrath of the mother's bad mood.  That was until I became that mom.

Although I hate to admit it, I've been out at a store sounding nasty at my boys and appearing to be in a bad mood for no reason more times than I'd like to count.  But if there is anyone like my former self  watching and judging me,  I would love to explain why I seem so mean and unhappy.

My day before getting to that store would probably go a little like this:
Wake up and have a cup of coffee and try to steal 5 minutes to myself in which I check e-mails, blog, or anything that makes me feel like a real person.  All the while the boys are either wresting, fighting, screaming, or crying.  Leah is in the jumperoo for probably one of the only times all day where she'll be okay without me sitting with her.  If I choose to shower, she will scream the entire time, and the boys will probably tear apart one of their rooms leaving a trail of toys to their next adventure.  I have exactly 3 minutes to throw on clothes, makeup, deodorant, etc. before Leah is in a full-fledged meltdown.  Of course I'd have to get the boys dressed before going out.  On a good day I'd be on top of the laundry and their drawers would be full.  It isn't always a good day though.  I pull out clothes that match reasonably and begin to try to wrangle the boys.  This is when Sean begins to show his disagreement with my opinion that we need to wear clothes to the store.  I dare anyone judging that mother to try to dress two boys while holding a 23lb 6 month old baby.  When the boys are dressed, usually 25 minutes later, we can finally head to the car.  If I do not allow toys into the minivan Sean will be in his terrible-three year old mode.  And even if I do allow the toys, he'll pretty much refuse to get into his seat.  Once we are at the store, there will be another freakout from the children over who gets to sit/cling to the shopping cart where.  If they had it their way, we would not be able to fit any groceries in the cart and this would just be a joy ride around the store.  On the really bad days, we have to go back out to the car to end the tantrum before we enter the store for the second time to get the milk and other necessities we are out of.

So I guess I would say to the person judging that mom:
Just wait till you are dragging your child off the walmart floor kicking and screaming having a tantrum to end all tantrums after a long morning of what can only be termed chaos.  And if you think you won't end up being in that mom's shoes, just wait.  I promise that one day you will find yourself with that child, and it is then that you will realize that sometimes being that mom is just what happens.

New Favorite Beauty Products

If you've read my About Me section on the blog, you'll notice that I'm a little bit obsessed with Sephora and beauty products.  The irony is that I don't wear much makeup, and I'm most comfortable dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt.

One of my favorite things about the mall near our new house is that there is a Sephora inside the JCPenny.  This is proving dangerous to me saving money.  I got a gift card for Christmas, and it has already burned a hole in my pocket.  But on the plus side, I have found some pretty amazing products.

So here are a few of the new products I've been trying out.  Also, let me confess that before any purchase, I spend hours reading the product reviews and various blog posts people make on the item.  So maybe one of you will find this helpful if you're planning a purchase.

1.  Benefit Erase Paste

This one needs a little back story.  About two weeks ago I brought Ryan to the pediatrician to get him a new allergy medication.  Ryan frequently has what they call "allergy shiners", which are purple/blue shadows under his eyes caused by allergies.  The doctor pointed this out, as they always do.  Then he turns to me and says, "oh you must have allergies too because you have the same dark shadows under your eyes, and allergies run in families."  Ummm...okay, except I do not suffer from allergies, and especially not in the winter.  When the doctor turned his back to me, I started rubbing my eyes to make sure I didn't have any running mascara.  I didn't.  And after that appointment, whenever I look in the mirror, I see the big dark bags under my eyes.  My husband jokes that it looks like I got punched in the face.  And yes, this is the same doctor that made me lose my mom-fidence.
So obviously after this realization, I knew that concealer was going to be the new must have item in my makeup bag.  After lots of research, I decided to try Erase Paste.  The description is: "A brightening camouflage for the eyes and face."  The consensus online is that this is great for around the eyes, but you'll probably want a different concealer to cover spots/blemishes.
My Thoughts: I personally love this product.  It is definitely brightening as it seems to reflect light.  For me it reflects the light away from my dark shadows, and that is exactly what I am looking for.  A little goes a long way.  It is a thick cream-like texture.  I gently dot it at the inner and outer corners under my eye and blend those dots together.  You must blend well, and remember that you don't need a lot of it.  It results in a bright, awake looking appearance.

2.  Benefit They're Real! Mascara

I've always been a drugstore mascara kind of girl....well, that is if I was wearing mascara, which didn't happen all that often.  However, recently I've joined the bandwagon on wearing it.  I was using a drugstore kind that had decent reviews.  I just wasn't seeing a payoff.  Normally I like waterproof because I tend to get smudging and running if I don't.  So I wasn't sure I'd like They're Real! because it isn't technically a waterproof.  The reviews for this mascara are very high.  For many people this is the "holy grail" mascara.  Here is the description: "A jet-black mascara that lengthens, curls, volumizes, lifts, and separates lashes for a spectacular 'out to here' look." 

My Thoughts:  The description alone leaves you with high expectations, and for me it did not disappoint.  A swipe or two of this mascara and my lashes were longer, lifted, curled, and pretty much just looked super wow!  I don't know if the brush is the magic or if it is the formula, but either way the combination is a keeper.   I saw instant payoff when I put it on.  As far as smudging goes, I haven't had a problem.  I haven't worn it on a rainy day, but I can say it is even difficult to remove.  And while that may be a problem for some, I'll gladly look for a new eye makeup remover if I get to keep these gorgeous lashes during my days.  I'm sold on this product.  

Anyone want to recommend a great eye makeup remover though?  

3.  Too Faced Beauty Balm SPF 20

I still had some gift card money left, but I didn't know what I wanted.  I spent lots of time researching different options.  I've never been a fan of foundation.  I feel fake whenever I wear it.  I've tried Bare Minerals, but it makes me feel like my face is dirty.  I may be crazy, I know.  I tend to like tinted moisturizers.  Have you heard all the buzz about BB creams lately?  They are supposed to be the do everything, all in one product.  However, research will tell you that the BB creams you can buy here in the U.S. are a far cry from the original BB creams that are on the market in Asia.  Many people swear by the Asian brands, but I'm just not that courageous to order and try it.  So I decided to try this Too Faced Beauty Balm.  It is very much like a tinted moisturizer with SPF, but that is all I was really needing anyway and I knew that going in to it.  The description is: "A multi-benefit BB cream that tints, primes, nourishes, prevents, and protects skin in one easy step."  

My Thoughts:  I really like it.  People have said it is sheer coverage, but for me it is as much coverage as I like.  It has just a hint of shine to give a dewy appearance.  I've been surprised by the staying power.  What I apply in the morning is there when I am taking it off at night.  It gives my skin a flawless and even look.  As far as color it is definitely a yellow based color, which works well for me but not for everyone.  I wear the lightest shade, so if you are super pale it might be too dark for you.  Right now this is the best I've tried for lightweight coverage with staying power plus the benefits and SPF. 

4.  Urban Decay Naked2

This one needs no introduction.  I never tried the original Naked Palette, but I decided on the Naked2 one based on how neutral these colors were.  They say it is filled with taupe and grey-beige neutrals.  I like a very natural eye look for myself, so I thought this might be the palette for me.  

My Thoughts:  The colors are great.  I can wear them and look very natural, or someone could build them into a fantastic smokey eye.  Let me be honest here that I am not very good at applying eye make-up.  I feel like eye makeup makes me look old and kind of silly.  However, because of the beautiful simplicity of these colors it makes it easy for me to apply.  Plus it comes with a nice double ended brush.  My husband has been impressed with my eye makeup, so that says a lot.  I think this palette is good for beginners wanting a simple and natural looking eye, and could be great for more experienced makeup people looking to do a neutral smokey eye.  If you are looking for color this isn't for you though.  I'm glad I bought this because it gives me lots of choices, but as someone who doesn't do too much for eye makeup this will last forever. 

This last one is not a new one, but rather one I'm still loving.  

5.     Sonia Kashuk Beautifying Blush

I blogged about this HERE.  I got the color Pink.  It is soft and natural giving the perfect flush.  I still love this blush.  It stays all day and the color is great.  I think this is a great quality at a decent price.  The packaging is cute and efficient.  It has worked nicely with the new BB Cream that I posted above, so it's still on the favorites list.  

What's on your makeup favorites list?  Anything new I should try?  

  

Mom-fidence

I had a different post in mind for today, but one check up at the pediatrician's office changed everything.

While at the pediatrician's office for Leah's 6 month well-baby visit, I lost my mom-fidence.  What is mom-fidence you ask?  It's the confidence moms have in following their motherly instincts to raise their babies.

I don't want to rehash the whole appointment.  There are controversial issues involved, and I know everyone has an opinion.  I just need to let things sink in for a while, but I will say that topics like overweight baby and breastfeeding less were thrown out there.  After which, I didn't even dare to admit that we are still co-sleeping.  

After that appointment my mom-fidence is gone because I am starting to feel like I don't know what I am doing, and it seems like I cannot do anything right.

So while I sit here wallowing in self pity feeling like I am not succeeding at my most important job of mother, I am trying to remind myself that I've raised two boys pretty well (so far).  We haven't always done it by the book, but what we have done has worked.  I need to keep telling myself that what works for us may not be the way most people do it.  I'm not aiming to please others but rather aiming to have happy, healthy children.  And right now my three little ones are just that.  So maybe I am failing at following all the rules, but we seem to be doing just fine doing it our own way.

Have you ever lost your mom-fidence?  How did you get it back?