April 7, 2011

Mean = Not My Friend

During this deployment, or actually I think it is accurate to say during my time at this duty station, there have been a few people that I've come across that are just MEAN.  Sometimes they are the competitive mom who is always trying to cut you and your children down, other times it's crazy people that really are out of touch with reality.

Recently a "friend", that really isn't a friend, was making snarky remarks at me through a social media site.  It would be one thing if they were truly friends expressing differing opinions, but it wasn't a friend.  It was someone who always talks down to people and tries to points out their flaws.  I don't know if they are insecure and acting as a defense mechanism or if they just weren't raised with manners.

I am a person that does NOT like confrontation.  I typically avoid it at all costs.  You have to really tick me off for me to speak up.  I also realize that sometimes it's just not worth it to speak up, and you won't get anywhere with some people if you do.  But I'm done getting my feelings hurt by people that are just mean.

I think I've finally come to question why we let these frienemies be a part of our lives so that they can watch everything and criticize.  I know we cannot always cut people out, but I've found it pretty liberating to move away from these mean people, and to take on the point of view that I cannot let what they think and say affect me.  They do not really know me and who are they to judge!

While doing errands today, I heard a song that fit what I've been feeling pretty well.  My song this week for the link up at Goodnight Moon is:




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13 comments:

Lisa said...

Confrontation--ugh! I hate it and I'm not very good at it either!

Poekitten said...

I posted a Taylor Swift song too:) Some people are just mean...they must be really unhappy and want others to be unhappy too!

Dawnll said...

So very well said Shelly
It feels so good to eliminate negative, mean spirited people- it really deflates their egos when you do.
Good for you for sticking up for yourself- sometimes that is more powerful then confrontation!

Amanda said...

She sang this live at the ACM show- so good!! I agree frienemies are such energy drainers.I say good AIDOS!!

Devon said...

yikes shelly! i am sorry that you have to deal with that on top of everything else. i will say special prayers for you to be free from this person. i laugh at your word frenemies!

Goodnight moon said...

I've said it before, that going through a deployment you really see people's TRUE colors. I don't get why people do that to others. Like you, I had the same thing happen to me too. I took the higher road, and even though they were putting me down on social sites, I choice not to partake in it. I think it takes a BIGGER person not act like your in middle school anymore. Plus, you have to ask yourself the age old question...."what am I going to gain from this"....

I'm sorry your having to deal with this right now. You ARE an amazing person, don't let them try to put you down. You ARE better then them!

Sending you hugs girlie!!!!

And I LOVE this song! She did an awesome job performing this at the AMC this past Sunday.

Thanks for linking up this week!

{hugs}

beth @ {expeditionaryfamily} said...

i loooove this song. someone i cared about was utterly mean to me last year and i played this tune *out*. it really made me feel better...music is so cathartic. :) i hope things cool down with your nemesis so you don't have to worry about the nastiness.

Christina said...

I don't like people like this at all. Like you I avoid confrontation and I always treat my friends well. I have been known to treat my enemies pretty well too, but to put up with this type of friend is something you just don't have to do. Sorry you had to go through this with this kind of person, but luckily most people out there are pretty nice.

Peanut Stitches said...

Ok so I think that I know exactly what incident you were talking about, and it made it hard for me to not go after her. (Ok, hopefully you aren't talking about me and that would be embarrassing...) but you need to defriend her on there. Seriously. Remove her from your life!

Jenn said...

I have been going through something really similar. I try and try to be a good friend but time and time again I find this "friend" putting me down or flat out lying or well just not being a good person. It is really frustrating. I too don't do confrontation. It takes a lot for me to stand up and say something. I really need to get better about that.

Stacie said...

I think I honestly have 'confrontation-phobia'. I've gone through this with my sister-in-law and have just recently basically cut her out of my life. I don't like the constant comparing and competition. She's a crappy friend and I'm sick of it! So hurray for standing up and saying 'I can't take it anymore'! And it's especially not worth it when there is already deployment stress in your life!

hotpants™ said...

I linked to your blog in my UBP wrap-up post. Come by and check it out!

Jessica said...

very well said...I am so with you, I do not like confrontation at all.

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