It's been planned that during the first week of block leave Pat will be going to visit some of his Soldiers at Brooke Army Medical Center and Walter Reed Army Medical Center. In fact I booked all his flights the other night. He'll only be gone for a few days, but for some strange reason the thought of being alone is causing me anxiety. I keep feeling worried about taking care of the kids and doing everything alone.
The funny part of this is that I'm currently doing it all alone and have been for many, many months. So why is the thought of just doing what I'm doing today so overwhelming to me?
I think that I'm so looking forward to having a parenting partner and help around the house that it seems scary to go back to alone. I know alone and can do alone, but I think I just don't want to do alone anymore. I know it will only be a few days, and it is so important to Pat and the Soldiers. I also have the irrational feeling like if he leaves again it will be like homecoming was just a dream and that I won't see again for a long time.
Has anyone else had feelings of not wanting to let their loved one go after a deployment? Or feel apprehensive about being alone, even though you know you can do it?
I think this must just be another one of those deployment mind tricks. I know I will sail through those few days, and they will just be a few simple days like so many I've done before. I need to relax and stop letting my mind get me worked up.