It's The Little Things You Say

I'm still adjusting to Pat being gone. It really only affects me at around 7 p.m., but that is when I get really sad. I am used to being alone all day every day (although not on weekends so that will be hard too). I am also used to doing everything for the kids and most of the housework myself. The hardest part for me right now is not having my best friend to talk to. I think our minds have a way of suppressing the memories of what a deployment is really like after it is done. I always seem to forget how hard it is to not be able to tell my husband all the little things. No matter how long your husband works, you are usually able to tell him about all the little stuff that goes on, even if it is just causally said in passing. During a deployment it is like you make a list of stuff you want to tell him and then prioritize it and cut the list down to only the things you feel you need to tell him in the limited time you will be able to talk. There is always e-mail too, but I find that these little things usually get lost in all the important stuff written in the e-mail.

Today I would want to tell him:

Sean looked at his flat daddy (life size photo) that we hang on the wall and giggled at it. He definitely smiles at the picture whenever I carry him near it. Also Ryan wanted to give it a big kiss.

Sean has a preference about being outside. If I ever walk outside while carrying him and turn around to go in, like to check how hot it is outside or if I forget something on my way out, he starts screaming. He thinks I am not going to take him outside, and he gets upset. I am glad that he likes being outside so much and very glad we bought the play set.

Ryan has several canker sores on his bottom lip. I think he must have hit his teeth into his lip at some point and now has the sores. It is really upsetting him because of the pain. He isn't eating, and he is very clingy.