August 3, 2011

I'm Back and Sad About It

Hello blog friends.  I cannot believe how long it has been since I wrote a real post.  Well, actually I can since I've been ill for the past few days, but I think I'm on the mend now.  I flew back to TN on Monday.   Pat was with me, but still, flying with two little kids and not feeling well is no fun.

I feel so lucky that I was able to spend 3 weeks with my family in New England.  I am definitely sad to be back in TN.  I really enjoyed spending time with family, and the kids thrived on all the attention they received.  It really made me start to think about what I want in my life.

When I grew up and pictured married life, I never thought I'd live too far from family.  I thought I'd see them on holidays and for BBQs.  That isn't my life now though.  Pat and I have very different relationships with our families.  I like spending time with my family and value our relationships not just as blood relatives but also like friendships.  I've been trying to explain this to Pat for years, but in his mind he thinks the desire to be near family = dependence.  I think he's slowly starting to understand that I WANT to be with family rather than NEED to be with family.

One of the things I hate about Pat's job is how inflexible it is with regard to where we live.  It is hard coming back to TN because I don't really feel like there is anything here for me.  It's nice to have my own house again after sharing a room with the boys for 3 weeks, but it's lonely too.  And I have I mentioned how nice the weather up North is compared to TN?

Do you ever wish you lived somewhere else?  How do you deal with those feelings?

Shelly

9 comments:

Alison said...

I'm glad you had a good visit and made it back safely. I completely understand how you feel. It can be very difficult living somewhere where you don't want to live, and doing something you did not plan to/don't want to do. I hope everything works out for the best!

Lisa said...

I understand exactly how you feel! I have been mourning not being near family for many years now. The loneliness after coming home from a visit with them is so hard, I know. I know that doesn't help you much, but I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one!

Mommyblogger said...

It's so strange to me to read this post and a little eye opening. I live directly next door to my mom & dad as well as the rest of my extended family lives in very close driving distance. I am a bit like Pat I suppose. I feel I'm still very dependant on them in some ways. I've always wanted to live far away but after reading this I see that if I did, I may just want to be closer.

Christina said...

Sometimes I long to be by family back east but I just remind myself that I am with the family I chose and that has to be enough for me. Of course keeping in touch with family via Facebook, blogs, phone's, Ipad etc helps. I have kids all over the place and still 3 at home so yes it does get lonely at times, but that is the world we live in. I try to make friends wherever I am stationed at and have found over the years that some of these friends have become like family to me. I will pray that you find friends like this and just enjoy the times you get to spend with family but remember your family is where ever your husband is...that kind of support will help him in many ways and you will grow through all these experiences.

AnNaRicHiE said...

Welcome Back Shelly! I wish I live very close to my family too.However I have never seen them for 4 years now.That is very long! I have to travel thousand miles away to do that and air fare is very expensive.It would be nice if my sisters are so close to me..

Julie said...

I would love to be closer to family. I really hope we can move back to CA someday. Right now it just isn't possible so I am okay with being in TN. But I do get sad sometimes. I hate that my boys don't know their cousins at all. That hurts :(

Kimberly Merritt said...

I understand completely. We moved 18 years ago. It was tough in the beginning, good in the middle, and, although we love it here, we miss "home". Though we're only a little more than 2 hourse away, it's hard to get down for holidays and celebrations. When we do get down, I think about how nice it would be if we stayed. I think this is called growing pains.

I wish you well. And when you come back to New England, you must go to a clambake. ;o)

Christina said...

I was just reading my new devotional book "Faith Deployed Again" and It is so strange but I came across today's devotional which was a wife sharing about being in this same boat, the loneliness and missing family, any way she quoted this scripture and I thought it might help: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong, courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. JOSHUA 1:9 Something told me to share this with you.

Anne said...

I could have written this post! Right now, I really wish I lived somewhere else. We just moved from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. I left many friends and my home for the last 20 years behind. Las Vegas is hot and barren. BUT it does allow us to live together as a family (my husband's job is in LV) and I do appreciate that. I was just in TN for 2 weeks - hot and humid, yes, but so lush, bountiful and green. I loved every minute! But very different from North East. I think finding community is key to adjust to living in different places.

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