Negativity

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been feeling very negative, and I really do not want to share my self-pity party.  Nothing has really changed except for me being stuck in this crappy frame of mind.  I'm going to try to refrain from posting until I have a more positive outlook to share.  

However, as if it were an anniversary, I feel the need to mark each passing month.  Today we've hit 5 months done and are that much closer to being together again.  Pat has been gone for over half of Ryan's life now (plus gone tdy during the time he was home).  He's missed so many firsts with his son, and that makes me sad.  Recently Pat and I were talking about how when he left Ryan was a little baby that just needed to be held.  All he could do was roll over.  He's changed so much and become such a big boy.  It's been five months since Pat held his son and five long months since I held my husband's hand or shared a hug.  I'm proud that Ryan and I have come so far, but I look forward to being a family of 3 again.  I cannot wait for the new year and all the happiness it will bring.  

Now I'm off to watch the debate!