September 16, 2008

I made it through.

I wasn't sure I would, but I made it through the day yesterday.  The night before I was up vomiting from 9 p.m.-5 a.m. and sleeping intermittently on the bathroom floor.  My fever was 100.6, and I'm not sure I've ever been that sick before.  Yesterday, while I was no longer getting sick, I felt miserable.  I was having trouble drinking anything and knew I was getting dehydrated.  I was so thankful though at what a good boy Ryan was.  Most of the day he played by himself which made it easy on me.  I felt bad because yesterday was the first day that I was really watching the clock counting down until his bedtime.  He went to sleep really well, and I slept for 12 hours last night, only getting up for a few nighttime feedings.  I can't blame him for waking up though, there probably couldn't be much milk when I have no fluids in me.  Even the dogs were very well behaved and slept like champs last night.  I couldn't have asked for Ryan or the dogs to be better for me yesterday.  I am lucky.
I'm feeling much better today, although there is still the remnants of illness sticking around.  My fever is gone and I'm able to drink much more today.    I feel like a complete moron though because tonight is supposed to be my first FRG meeting.  I called the Squadron Commander's wife to fill in for me.  I don't want to take the chance at getting anyone else sick, and I think Ryan and I still need a bit more rest.  I just feel like it looks irresponsible of me not to go.  I was going to have the opportunity to meet some great wives, and now it looks like I don't care.  I know they'll understand, but I just wish the timing had worked out better.  
I will say that yesterday was by far the most challenging day of the deployment so far.  I shed lots of tears (which I know I shouldn't have wasted the water crying, but I couldn't help it).  I am so lucky with a great bunch of dogs and such a wonderful little boy.  Thank you to the friends who called to check on me.  Pat also helped to console me.  I miss him so much.  Even though he couldn't be here,  hearing his voice made me feel better.  I cannot wait until he is home.  My poor family back home must get sick of my phone calls, but without them I couldn't survive.  I have so much support and am so grateful for all of it.  

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