For the past few months, one of the activities I had been taking part in seems to be giving me more stress and strain than sense of accomplishment. It's a volunteer position. While I've never done it for the fun (because it really isn't fun), I always thought it was an important role that needed someone committed to it.
The ironic part is that it is now something where I would be working along side my husband. And yet, that is part of the problem. I've done this job for years. I've worked with many people. I thought my husband and I would "knock it out of the park" working together. But instead, we do not see eye to eye on it at all. My husband is taking it very seriously, but he's running it his own way. While running it his way isn't bad, he is not listening to my experiences or ideas. I find that I don't agree with a lot of his decisions in this area.
I'm beginning to think it is time that I say no to this extra work which is causing strain. I don't want to be part of something that I don't feel proud about. But I don't want to let my husband down either. We've talked about it a million times. He'll support me either way, and to be honest, he won't really care if I step down because he is doing it all his own way anyway. Part of me is sad though on losing something that once brought me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, and there is a small part of me that feels like my husband has taken it away.
I thought about it all last night while laying with the kids. I'm thinking that saying no, and closing that chapter may be the best thing. It isn't bringing anything positive to my life, and I cannot let something like that come between me and my husband. I have plenty of other tasks to keep me busy and feel accomplished doing. Plus this will free up more time to spend with my family. Even though I hate saying no to helping out, I'm slowly learning that sometimes saying no is okay.