It was almost 2 years ago exactly that I wrote this same post. Tonight I put Sean to bed for the first time ever without nursing him. I've been more than ready to stop breast feeding, but I knew it would be a hard adjustment for Sean. It breaks my heart to take something that he enjoys away, but I really think he is also ready. It is so hard to end that routine though. He is not weaned yet, in fact he nursed today before his naps, but I've officially started the process. There is no turning back now.
I was a bit sad to think that I didn't savor our last nursing session, which may sound weird, but it is a special connection we shared. However, I am confident that Sean and I can still have the special connection just in a way that goes beyond nursing. While I may no longer provide him with the comfort of a breast, I am able to soothe him by hugs, kisses, rubbing his head, and rocking my sweet boy.
He was slightly upset when we went to the chair and I did not feed him. It was heartbreaking to see him upset over it, but within just a minute we both found comfort by gazing into each other's face. I watched my little boy peacefully find sleep and comfort, and that soothed my heart. I savored that moment.
I will admit, that tonight I am really sad. I know I am doing the right thing for us though. I have given him over 16 months of breast feeding, and I will give him a lifetime full of love. Even though we are ending the nursing, we will still share special moments everyday. My little baby is becoming such a big boy, and it is bittersweet.