October 4, 2011

House Arrest

Sometimes I feel like a prisoner of my house.  And if I'm being honest, I don't really like my house.  Let me give a bit of background to this though.

When our oldest son was 2 weeks old, Pat had to fly from OK to TN to go look for a house to buy.  Obviously with a newborn I couldn't go with him.  Our house is fine, great even, but just not what I would want to have forever.  And the thing is, I know it's not forever with this military life style.  I so badly want to buy a house, plan to keep it, raise my family there, and grow old in it.

My feeling trapped by my house comes from many things like the hot and humid summers that make you want to stay in the cool air conditioning, the fact that our neighborhood has no sidewalks and cars come flying down our street so playing out front is not something we do often, how we are sinking money into this house that needs a new roof and now is having a problem with the heating, or the fact that since I know it's temporary I just don't feel committed to this house (yet we are approaching 4 years here).  There is so much more I could say, but I think you get the point.

We are hoping that this spring we will be moving.  (And yes, I am DREADING the process of selling our house)  We have lots of plans, hopes, wishes for what is to come next.  I sincerely hope that my next house feels like a home where we can truly settle and grow roots.

Have you ever felt like this about where you were in life at some point?

I know many of my posts lately have seemed kind of negative or sad.  I'm really doing just fine, but these are the things on my mind and in my heart.  I want to be honest with my blog.  Even though I may be struggling with accepting some things, I know what a wonderful life I have and am so thankful each and every day.


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