October 3, 2011

Friends and Motherhood

I've never been someone who makes friends easily.  I'm not an outgoing personality.  In fact I'm rather shy.   When I meet new people I'm not bubbly.  I tend to be subdued.  I listen well though.  

I think that sometimes motherhood can make finding friends even harder.  Have you met those competitive moms?  There is nothing more annoying to me than the moms that try to one up you whenever you speak.  But that isn't the only issue you face.  There is so much judgement out there.  Not all moms judge others, but I've met a fair share that do.  I've been at play dates and just know that I'm being judged as a poor parent if my child is the one that becomes rambunctious.  Do you know how embarrassing it is to be in front of new people and have you child ignoring everything you say?

Maybe it's just where I am right now, but where are the moms that pour you more coffee and can commiserate when your children aren't being perfect?  The ones ones that will admit their kids do the same things?

I think given the choice between the judgmental and competitive moms or loneliness I would choose being lonely.  That said though, being lonely is really hard.


The New "Normal" said...

I totally understand how you feel...I'm not very good around other people either and always feel like I say the wrong things. My kids are 7 and 5 and I feel like the one-uping is just as bad as when they were little. And my kids totally would be running around not listening half the time - I'd gladly pour you more coffee and commiserate!
Stopping by from the MM blog hop. Stay strong and keep your chin up! :)

KERRY said...

Those mums are here Shelly, reading your blog (which I'm loving the new look btw) and wishing they could have a coffee with you and tell you that we're all in the same boat...lonliness isn't nice, you don't need to feel that, no-one does :(
If those mums don't realise their kids are just the same then not only are they judgemental, they're blind!!

Anonymous said...

If we were stationed at the same post, I would totally pour you another cup of coffee! :)

Anonymous said...

I totally agree! I have lived in the same area (small town) my entire life. I know EVERYONE here. Problem is, I seem to be more settled in my life than most people my age. I'm done with partying, backstabbing, gossiping & such. I get so lonely sometimes. I wish I could find a few GREAT friends with children to just hang out with & have playdates.

Anonymous said...

That whole mom competition is crazy! I've been lucky to meet some great people while here, and we've had lots of playdates, but I'll admit that I've skipped out on several of the events because it was just too much stress with toooo many moms and kids. I prefer just to have a few close friends and smaller get togethers. I would rather have a few real friends than lots of semi "friends" (mostly there for convenience).

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