I'm back to my blog. Sorry for my short absence. I've missed reading all your blogs and hope to catch up soon.
As you've seen, my hubby returned from Afghanistan. While I am overjoyed at having him home, I thought I'd write about the other emotions I've been feeling--the ones people don't talk about much regarding a homecoming. Maybe homecoming hasn't met my expectations or maybe it's a bit different this time around.
Looking back, I didn't shed any tears at the reunion. I was happy to have him home of course, but the whole process of the homecoming with two young children waiting for long amounts of time really felt like a difficult task I had to accomplish. We left to go to the hangar around 7 p.m., and we were not home until after 2 a.m. It was definitely an exhausting night.
Thankfully he had the next day off, but of course we ran around getting things done. And now he's in the reintegration process before block leave starts. Between the reintegration and command issues he's gone until 3-4 p.m. every day. I know most people are thinking that is a short work day, which it is, but I am desperate for some real time off. Next week block leave begins, but Pat is traveling to TX and DC to visit his wounded Soldiers. I have two medical appointments scheduled next week too. We also have to get Abbey in to the vet and schedule a follow up appointment for Ryan at his doctor.
I guess you could say I am feeling overwhelmed by what we have to do and have going on right now. It's definitely overshadowing the happiness that I should be feeling, and that makes me feel bad too.
Reintegration as a parent is also challenging. Pat understands how much he missed, but it is as if he doesn't understand how that has affected the roles in the house. Pat would like to just jump right into being a dad and ruling the house, but Ryan is not ready for that. It's a slow process, and I don't think Pat realized how much time it would take.
Maybe I failed at expectation management. I'm also a bit sad that I've gone to bed alone most of the nights since Pat has arrived home. While I get the kids ready for bed, Pat usually ends up laying down himself and falling asleep. From 7 p.m. on, it is very much like the deployment is still going on around here.
I know this post sounds rather negative. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I am very happy to have my husband home and safe, but I also want to point out after such a long absence things don't all just magically fall into place. There is a lot of work to be done after a deployment. I am hoping that after Pat returns from visiting his Soldiers we'll have some down time to really bond before we start our own road trip.