February 14, 2013

You Know The Romance Is Dead...

You know the romance is dead when the only thing your husband says to you on Valentine's Day is "Do you want to go to BJ's Wholesale Club tonight?"
umm...sure, why not, I have nothing better to do than take our three kids shopping for bulk items.

One of my goals this year is to resuscitate my marriage.  It has been hit hard from our separations due to the Army and moving.  Plus three kids give us very little adult time.  Our idea of a gift is doing the dishes so the other one doesn't have to....Hey, I thought that was a great surprise.

We have forgotten to nourish our relationship.  It's hard to figure out where to begin.  I feel like we need to start dating again and get to know each other.  Right now it seems like we don't have any common interests anymore.  The problem with long separations is that as you grow and change, you aren't doing it together.  We certainly aren't the same people we were almost 9 years ago when we got married.  I'm not sure how we'll rekindle our relationship, and I know it will be a lot of work.  It is a work in progress and completely worth it though.

So whether you have a valentine or not, just remember no matter what your plans are, you could be buying paper towels and toilet paper tonight like me.  ;)

Happy Valentine's Day!

9 comments:

Julie, Wife of a Soldier said...

The only conversation I have had with mine this morning was, "They need an email for the FRG." Oh well...at least we know they love us.

My husband and I are so different too and it is hard because we don't have too much in common but looking forward to spending time with him tonight.

Have a great day :)

Nicole said...

I can relate to what you are saying completely. It's hard to be apart, raise children, and be inundated with the stress of military schedules. My advice is to make it a priority, even if you have to take the bull by the horns. I never wait on my hubby to create romance ;) I have started following some dating websites and pinners on Pinterest. It jump starts those creative brain cells. The Dating Divas, Friday We Fell In Love, and 'camillacam' on Pinterest have the best ideas. Hope this helps :)

andthenwelaughed said...

My husband and I updated and finalized our will with the lawyer this morning. It was so romantic. :) Haha.

Alison said...

I love your honesty Michelle! Marriage is tough for anyone, but I do think that the Army provides extra challenges. Good luck!

ps- "the proper care and feeding of husbands" by Dr. laura is a great marriage book...I've read it at least 3 times in the past 10 years!

Lora said...

The added stresses of being a military family definitely impact our marriages and families, its why the divorce rate in the army is sky high!

But you know, the first step to solving any problem is realizing there IS a problem. So that's important!

I hope you and your husband can find a few date nights in the near future and get to know each other again!

Karen At Home said...

It sounds like you have a wonderful plan! It's crazy how life just passes you buy and you get lost in the rat race of raising kids. Hoping you have a good night with your sweetie even if it is a trip to BJ's!

Kate @ Daffodils said...

It is hard to find time for each other, but recognizing that you need a little romance and re-connection is a great step toward a better relationship! My husband and I both gave up the wireless on our phones for lent so we could focus more on each other and not be so distracted all the time.

Jonnique said...

At least you are not going to settle. Love your realness.
P.s thanks for the follow! Gladly following back!

Hailey LoveLaughterandLipstick said...

We need to do the same with ours! I got flowers from my dad and they were amazing! My hubby is good at doing the surprise gifts and flowers, which is awesome, but I really would like those cheesy flowers on Valentine's day too. :)
Hailey @ Love, Laughter and Lipstick

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