February 21, 2013

A Homework Date

I don't think I've mentioned yet that my husband is taking some classes to begin working on his Masters Degree.  I am very proud of him, but I will admit at first there was a tiny bit of jealousy.  You see, my husband was a History major, and I was a Marketing major in college.  Before we got married, I pictured myself working for a big company and climbing the corporate ladder in the business world.  That is not how my life happened though, and I don't have a single regret about the path my life has taken.  That said, it is a bit weird for me to sit by and watch my husband getting the Masters Degree in a business program.

At the beginning of the semester, talking about school brought tension to our relationship.  I felt like my husband was talking down to me like I don't understand since I'm not in the classes, and in a defensive response I was probably talking down to my husband because he has no "business" experience.  We were both so wrong, but we are imperfect and flawed.

This past weekend though we had a bonding experience that changed our attitude toward each other with regard to my husband's school.  Pat had gone upstairs to do some homework online.  He had been gone for much longer than he originally intended.  I called up to see how things were going, and it was clear he was frustrated.  I asked if he wanted to come downstairs so I could help him with it.  I never expected him to take me up on my offer, but much to my surprise he said yes.  We started working together just like we had done years ago in college together.  We listened and explained.  We talked calmly.  We figured out answers.  Sometimes I was right, and it felt great to be able to actually contribute.  I felt like I was able to show him that even though I'm not in the Masters program, I still know some stuff.  He appreciated the help, and he probably doesn't realize how much I appreciated being included.

I talked on Valentine's day about how the husband and I need more bonding time.  As silly as this may sound, the homework date this weekend was exactly what we needed.  It fed my soul that my husband was able to see me as more than just a SAHM.  We had something in common to work on.  We challenged each other, discussed things, and at the end accomplished a goal.

Who would have thought that doing homework together would mean so much for us as a couple?

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Jari said...

Hi,this is Jari @ From Letters to words! I saw you blog from The Everyday Joys!! I know what you and your husband is going through. When mines, went back to school for some computer classes, it was like he knew more than me ( I am great with the computer). But then I realized that I was getting upset because of his decision to go back to school. It hurt our relationship because of the jealousy. But we have moved past that, and I did eventually go back to school for teaching!!

The Fischer Family said...

It's amazing what bonds us sometimes isn't it?! Hopefully now he will come to you for more help in the future, since you proved you've still got it!! I'm planning on starting my Masters soon so I can teach once all the kids are in school. I'm scared to death but also kind of excited about it!

Anonymous said...

I loved helping my husband when he was in leadership school. You're right, it really is a great way to bond.

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