September 2, 2009

Bad Mommy

There is one quality I think you must have to be a good mother. That quality is patience. Sometime I find it a hard quality to maintain. When I am struggling to keep my patience, I am often ashamed of how I am behaving as a mother.

Today has been one of those days where I really qualify as a bad mommy. I'd be totally embarrassed if anyone were to see how awful I behaved today.

The past three days Ryan has been sick. He has some sort of a cold that has manifested itself mostly in a cough and chest congestion now. I have not had much sleep the past three nights. Ryan is waking up very frequently. This morning after getting one hour of sleep during a period of 4 hours, I realized I too am getting sick. It doesn't help that Ryan is completely into everything. This week despite being sick, he learned how to open every door in the house. Our afternoon consists of him pulling everything out of the linen closest while I beg, plead, and yell at him to stop it. I clearly have lost my patience.

To add to my frustration is the fact that Pat is literally never home. As I type this he's still at work. He was at work until 9 p.m. last night. I am feeling so run down both physically and emotionally.

I know every parent has a bad day, but I really get disappointed in myself when I cannot maintain a bit of composure to be a good mother. I find that I am being that nasty mother that when you see her you feel bad for her children because she's always in a bad mood. I really need to work on being the loving, understanding, fun mother that Ryan deserves.

A good night of sleep would definitely help, so here's hoping that tonight is a better night.

1 comment:

Devon said...

Shelly - I really doubt that you are a bad mommy. Illness and lack of sleep takes a toll on everyone, especially pregnant mommies! I know that you are treating Ryan wonderfully, but it is frustrating when they do not obey you. Have you gotten some of those door handle covers? I have adults that come over that can't even open the doors now! I have been thinking of you a lot lately. Hang in there!

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