Cheese!

I was trying to capture Ryan's new obsession with eating "apples" like a big boy. (Note: Apples to Ryan means any round piece of fruit including peaches, pears, and sometimes grapes too.) But once he saw the camera, he was up and following me around very closely saying "Cheese!". It was too adorable.

No One Likes a Complainer

No one likes a complainer. That is one of the many reasons I haven't really been into blogging lately. I have so many things that I could complain and whine about, but really I hate to sound so negative. With all these things to complain about though, it's hard to focus on writing anything else. I do have some great photos of Ryan from the past few days that I'll hopefully get up very soon.

So in short, what is it that I'm trying not to complain about? I could complain about the horrible medical care that I'm receiving at BACH. However, I'm afraid people will think I'm just booing tricare or the care Army families receive. That isn't the case, it really seems to be my bad luck here. Other people aren't being treated the way I am, so it's just a case of wrong place, wrong time I guess. It still is annoying and almost comical if it weren't such an important issue.

Another big issue I'm having is I'm getting so annoyed that Pat is NEVER home. He literally never is home for dinner nowadays. Ryan usually goes to bed without seeing his Daddy, although there are some days he's lucky and sees Pat for a half hour as he winds down for bed. I guess it's just hard on me because it's like I'm a single parent still even though Pat is home from deployment. It gets so bad that I have to beg and plead for Pat to make it to one family meal a week. In one way I feel bad because Pat is being pulled in so many different directions, but in another way I can't help but be mad sometimes.

So there are some of my complaints. Maybe now that I've shared them I can move on and be a better blogger. I should have lots to post in the next few weeks. Hopefully I'll get the photos I mentioned up soon and can start being more positive.

If I Put on Monkey...

I found some photos on my camera from about a month ago. These photos were taken early one morning when Pat was leaving for work. Ryan really wanted to go with his Daddy. Then he spotted his monkey, which is his backpack harness. Ryan thought if he put that on that he could go with his Daddy. It was cute and sad at the same time. Thankfully, a good breakfast was enough to distract him.

Goodbye Springfield :(

I haven't had the time, energy, or motivation to post anything lately. Pat has been working late every night, so by the time Ryan goes to bed I crash on the couch. I haven't taken any photos in ages so hopefully I change that this weekend.

On a slightly sad note, today is the day I say goodbye to Springfield. That is Guiding Light, "the longest running scripted program in broadcast history", goes off the air today. I've been watching GL since I was a child and would have loved to follow it until I was an old lady. Unfortunately, the show I dvr daily is no more. I will miss that part of my day, but am thankful for all the entertainment it gave me through the years. I just may shed a tear when I watch today's episode.

Hopefully I'll post more photos after this weekend.

If I have to clean up one more mess today...

If I have to clean up one more mess today, I'm asking for a raise.

Spilled milk, cheerios on the floor, juice on the ottoman, soda on the counter...etc. Some messes were made by Ryan and a few of them were caused by Pat. I have to say I'm hoping that things remain where they should for the rest of the night because I'm tired of fixing everything.

Ryan seems to be over his cold. Although I'm thinking he may also be working on cutting his "eye teeth". Many people say these teeth take a long time and are very painful for children. There were a few days in the past week or so that I really thought Ryan had turned into a mean child. I thought I may have jinxed it telling people he doesn't really have terrible two tantrums because this past week he was awful. Thankfully my happy boy is back, and it feels so good to see him smile.

I'm basically over the cold too. So things are slowly returning to normal. Hopefully normal stays a while.

Bad Mommy

There is one quality I think you must have to be a good mother. That quality is patience. Sometime I find it a hard quality to maintain. When I am struggling to keep my patience, I am often ashamed of how I am behaving as a mother.

Today has been one of those days where I really qualify as a bad mommy. I'd be totally embarrassed if anyone were to see how awful I behaved today.

The past three days Ryan has been sick. He has some sort of a cold that has manifested itself mostly in a cough and chest congestion now. I have not had much sleep the past three nights. Ryan is waking up very frequently. This morning after getting one hour of sleep during a period of 4 hours, I realized I too am getting sick. It doesn't help that Ryan is completely into everything. This week despite being sick, he learned how to open every door in the house. Our afternoon consists of him pulling everything out of the linen closest while I beg, plead, and yell at him to stop it. I clearly have lost my patience.

To add to my frustration is the fact that Pat is literally never home. As I type this he's still at work. He was at work until 9 p.m. last night. I am feeling so run down both physically and emotionally.

I know every parent has a bad day, but I really get disappointed in myself when I cannot maintain a bit of composure to be a good mother. I find that I am being that nasty mother that when you see her you feel bad for her children because she's always in a bad mood. I really need to work on being the loving, understanding, fun mother that Ryan deserves.

A good night of sleep would definitely help, so here's hoping that tonight is a better night.