October 7, 2008
Yesterday I realized that I should probably be embarrassed at how I look most of the time. I realized this on my way out to pick up diapers. I looked in the review mirror and really saw myself. My hair, which I've already said needs a cut, was pulled back in its constant ponytail with many fly-aways. My eyebrows, which again need work like I've said, look awful. I had no makeup on and looked totally washed out. My plain gray t-shirt isn't bad, but really just looks like it belongs in a gym or as pajamas, and my jeans which can be taken off without unbuttoning or unzipping probably need to be put into the back of the closet. This is how I go about most days. I definitely think the biggest reason for my lack of effort and care is that I'm not going to see anyone I know....I don't know anyone. How will I be able to look put together when Pat returns if I don't practice now? If my parents get a chance to come visit when they plan, I'm hoping to get my hair and eyebrows taken care of then. I have my favorite pair of jeans just waiting to be worn, but I always hesitate wearing them now because I don't want to wear them out. I don't really feel embarrassed about how I look, but sometimes I wonder if I should. After writing part of this entry this morning I had a bunch of motivation to go out to the store and try to look presentable. However, it ended up being a dark, rainy day here and I decided it was better to just sit inside in sweats today. There is always tomorrow.