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We've been very busy lately getting stuff done.  I'm a bit tired and still have lots to do.  So this post will be short, but I'll make a real entry soon.  

Yesterday Ryan had his 6 month well baby visit.  I had the "good" nurse practitioner this time, so that was nice.  Ryan is getting so big and is doing great.  He is 17 lbs 9oz and is 26.5" long.  He was a very good little boy for his shots.   He makes his Momma so proud.  ;)  

 

6 Months Old

Ryan is 6 months old today.  I cannot believe how fast this half year has gone by.  Recently I've been very nostalgic about his birth.  I do think that it was the best day of my life, and I wouldn't change anything about it.  Everyday with Ryan is a blessing.  We are having so much fun together, although we both miss Daddy and wish he could share in the fun.   

I'm feeling a lot more confident now.  I think this is partly because I have conquered Ryan's sleeping problems.   That has made an amazing difference for the both of us.  As I type this, he is taking a nap in his crib.  (Yay!)  Another exciting change for Ryan is that he is getting some teeth! One tooth has already cut his gums and the other tooth is very close to breaking through and may even do so in the next day or two.  

Pat finally got internet over there.  We've been able to chat on messenger a couple times.  What is really great though is that I've been able to use my webcam so Pat can see some things around here.  He's been able to watch Ryan rolling around, jumping in his jumperoo, and see the dogs.  

So overall, it's been a very good few weeks, and I'm feeling pretty happy right now.  

Wonderful Visit With Great Friends

Ryan and I had such a great visit with our friends Robyn, Joe, and Porter.  It was so great to see them because I miss them very much.  I wish that we lived closer to them.  I'm hoping one day the Army will put us together.  Then our boys could play together, and Pat and I would have friends around that we really like.   I can't believe how much their son, Porter, has grown.  It's crazy to think Ryan will at least be that old by the time Pat comes home.  I'm so grateful for friends like them.  

On another note, I've definitely lost my confidence in my mothering skills with Ryan.  I hate that I'm questioning everything I do.  Logically I know that I can do it completely alone, and I think I could do a pretty good job, but emotionally right now I just feel like I'm not doing all the right things, and that I'm really failing him.  What is it going to take to get my confidence back?  

Ache in My Stomach

While I was driving to do my last errand of the day, I noticed I had an aching feeling in my stomach.  I wasn't sure if I was hungry, or if the past two days are getting to me.  I won't go into all the details, but the past two days I've had various meetings to go to.  I woke up thinking things are going to be so good, and instead I've ended up feeling let down at the end of they day.  Maybe my expectations have been too high.  Maybe I felt like these events were going to be more productive than they actually were.  Or maybe I'm just a little depressed that the only times I've seen people this week they've been stupid, annoying, and rude.  And to make matters a little worse, during one of the meetings I had to miss Pat's phone call.  

I've concluded that the ache isn't from hunger.         

Happy Mother's Day

Friday I received a beautiful arrangement of flowers from Pat, and today I got a phone call to wish me a happy Mother's Day.  He really is a sweet husband.  So this isn't quite how I imagined my first Mother's Day, but I'm happy anyway.   Ryan and I sat around the house playing all day, and I just feel very blessed.     

Sigh of Relief

So as you can tell by the previous post my confidence is at times shaky. I'm new at this whole Mom thing, although with my first I think every new phase will make me feel new at it. Not only is it new to me, but I'm now doing it alone. For a couple of days following Pat leaving Ryan got really fussy. I'm still not sure what the cause of this mood change was, but he was very needy and cranky. He wouldn't let me put him down, not even for a minute. Since I was already lacking confidence, I was beginning to think I really was an awful mother. I was afraid that I'd have this unhappy child who won't let me put him down at all for a year, and I'd have to do everything by myself. I was left wondering where my sweet, happy little boy went. Thankfully whatever was bothering Ryan is now over. I have my happy little baby back. Ryan gives me so much enjoyment everyday and is full of smiles and laughs. He and I are having quite a bit of fun and are making lots of videos to send his Daddy. His mood change was like night to day and I can let out a sigh of relief. I'll have to keep this in mind as a lesson learned though, and when the next tough time comes I can tell myself, "this too shall pass."