Like a ton of bricks...

When Pat updated me with all the information he got from his unit yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew this deployment was coming, I can't deny that. I knew roughly when it was coming too. So I don't know why having the official date makes things seem so much worse. I have to admit I was mad and sad. The date is only about a week sooner than I thought it would be, but losing that week just seems so awful. I guess before we had the official date, I could go on like normal without thinking of it. Now I can't stop thinking about it. That is the thing about deployments, they aren't fun, but the build-up to them leaving is sometimes the worst part. Once they are gone we find routines and occupy ourselves the best we can. Before they go we try to savor every minute, but the bittersweet feeling invades each day.
There are two things about deployment that I think are actually good. The first is that the deployment can be used as a time of personal growth. I have to be completely independent during a deployment. Deployment gives me an opportunity to see how strong I really am. The second good thing is that deployments help us to see what we normally take for granted. As it quickly approaches I am going to treasure each moment we are all together. Each of these moments has a different feeling and meaning now. In everyday life it's so easy to overlook the wonderful, simple things that become the things we desire the most when our loved ones are gone. This is a lesson that I want to remember, but sometimes it gets forgotten until the next deployment is right around the corner.
While it feels like a ton of bricks hitting me now, I know it won't be as bad as I think. I'm lucky to have some great friends (like those of you that are reading this) and a wonderful family. I'll get through this one and I'll be a better person for it.

Snow Day

I'm finally feeling much better. I'm so thankful Pat was around to help out while I was sick.

We got some snow last night and this morning. Now it really cannot compare to snow back in the Northeast, but Clarksville schools were canceled again for the third time since we moved here. I love seeing the ground covered in snow. It always looks so beautiful, especially when I'm all snug in my warm house. I was hoping post would be closed so Pat wouldn't have to work, but no such luck. I guess it will just be me and Ryan enjoying our little snow day here. I have a book called Snow Day that will be perfect for us to read today.

I'm excited for tomorrow. My sister, Marie, is coming out to visit for the weekend. This will be her first visit to Tennessee and the first time she meets Ryan. Hopefully we'll be able to do some fun stuff while she is here. I'd better start cleaning now though ;)

Sick and Tired

Grammy and Grumps came to visit about a week ago. We all had a great visit. They loved seeing Ryan and our new home. Unfortunately when they left, they left me with a really nasty cold. I'm completely miserable. To make it worse, I can't even take any medicine because of feeding Ryan. I went to bed super early last night in hopes of shaking the cold. Ryan sleeps great through the night on most nights. However, the same cannot be said for Abbey. Between Abbey getting up at 1:30 a.m. and Pat's alarm going off a billion times at 4:00 a.m., I've been up a lot of the night. Once I wake up I feel so awful that I can't get back to sleep, hence me writing this blog at 5:00 a.m. I just hope that Ryan doesn't catch this cold from me. I'll be so upset if I make him sick.

So now that I've vented, maybe you could cross your fingers that I get better soon. I'm going back to laying in the bed waiting for Ryan to wake up.

Bookstore

I absolutely love big bookstores. Today was a fantastic day. It seems like it's been forever since I've been able to spend my time perusing a real bookstore. At the mall here there is a Borders. Back in Lawton there were some books stores, but not the real thing. I was so content to spend my time looking at all the wonderful books while having a nice, warm beverage from the cafe. Books are great because they give us a break from reality and transport us somewhere else. Even though I don't exactly have time to read books for myself right now, I love reading books to Ryan. He's going to have a very large collection of books. I can't stop myself from buying him more books every time I see some. I've already filled one shelf in his closet. Today he got two books: D-O-G and I Love You, Good Night. I saw so many that I plan to buy, but I'm sure I'll be back there soon.

Countdown Has Begun

Today Pat officially signs in to Ft. Campbell. I guess this means that the countdown to the next deployment has now begun. I have a feeling that this deployment is going to be drastically different than the last one for me. I'm sure it will be a time of personal growth and development, but with the exception of Ryan it might be slightly more lonely for me. I have yet to meet anyone here in Clarksville. I really want to spend the next few weeks enjoying having Pat around and watching my family together because those cherished memories will help me get through the next year.

On another note, we brought Abbey back to the vet today because she still isn't acting like herself. The vet really doesn't have a clue, and I don't blame them because she is having such odd symptoms. They did say that maybe she should be put on doggie anti-depressants. Yes, they were seriously suggesting that she is depressed....they obviously don't know Abbey very well. Thankfully they didn't charge us for this re-check visit. I am also going to change her diet so hopefully that will help Abbey get back to normal.

One thing is for sure: having 3 dogs and a baby will definitely keep me busy while Pat is gone.

Photos

Here are some photos taken today.

12 Weeks

Ryan is 12 weeks old today. It is so hard to believe that it was 12 weeks ago that I gave birth to him. When Pat came back from his class in Las Vegas he thought I was obsessed with our son. As you can tell that most of my posts are probably going to be about him, I guess Pat may be somewhat right. However, when we took Ryan to his 2 month well-baby visit (which ended up being around 2.5 months), they kept telling us how awesome Ryan's facial expressions and happy reactions to us were. This develops from all of the talking and smiling that we give to him. So after that appointment Pat decided that maybe I'm not obsessed, but rather just being a good Mom. Just to share his stats, at Ryan's appointment he weighed in at 13lbs. 5oz., and he was 23.62" long.

The other day when we went to get Tennessee drivers licenses I had to take an eye test. I had so much trouble with it that I decided I needed to go to the eye doctor. When I went to the doctor I found out that my eyes suck. I had reading glasses that I barely ever wore, but now I need glasses much more often. I should wear them for reading and distance. They said it won't do any damage not to wear them, but it will just be easier on my eyes to use them. My glasses came in yesterday, and I'm still undecided on them. I think I look like a dork, and now I feel old.

I'm hoping to post some new photos tomorrow if I get some free time.

So much has changed...

I can't believe how much has changed in my life. For the past 3 years Pat and I lived in Oklahoma. We had a nice house, three great dogs, and a very happy life. We made it through Pat's first deployment. As much as Oklahoma wasn't our favorite location, we really made the best of it and came to enjoy it there. Then on November 28, 2007 we had our first child, Ryan Joseph. He is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to us. I can't believe how much I love being a mother. When Ryan smiles at me, there is no better feeling in the whole world. Pat and I often look at Ryan and are just in awe that together we created a little life. Now we all live in Tennessee. We have another great house and are really settling into life here. Ryan is now a bit over 2.5 months old. Time really does fly, and my baby is growing up too fast. Pat is preparing for another deployment, and while we wish he didn't have to leave us we know it's his job and he loves doing it. I know most you probably already know what has been going on in my life, but I figured there was no better way to start the blog than to summarize the most important things going on. Stay tuned for more posts.