March 2, 2012

On My Mind

With any quiet time I find these days, I'm realizing how certain parts of my life are like necklaces tossed into a jewelry box that get knotted and tangled.  They are completely different necklaces that you would want to wear separately, but because they were tossed in the box they are affecting each other.  It's funny to think about how much completely different aspects of life can impact other parts.  (Does that even make any sense?  It does in my head, but I'm not sure it's coming out right.)

One thing that has been on my mind lately is how people are always chiming in on how others raise their children.  I feel pressured to fit into molds.  I keep hearing my kids have to do this, have to know that, must be able to do such and such by a certain age.  Who makes up these rules?  Why do we have to follow them?  Lately I've felt a lot of people imposing their standards onto my children, especially Ryan.  And being that Ryan is my first child, I feel like I succumb to the pressures of what to do/not to do.

It's a hard place to navigate.  You don't want to ignore what people say for fear that you may be missing something, but if you blindly listen to everyone, you may not hear your own mommy voice calling out what you need to hear.  I know as a parent we know our children best, but how do we know when to push our children vs. when to say mind your own business to other people.

Sometimes with all this I begin to feel like a failure.  I feel like I'm lost and confused.  I want to feel like I know exactly what I'm doing and what needs to be done.  Maybe that's wishful thinking about parenting though.  I don't know.  I think I've just lost my confidence lately.

4 comments:

Julie Danielle said...

I know what you mean. It can get frustrating when everyone seems to have strong opinions on parenting. I have found the longer I am a parent the easier it has been to ignore them.

Jamie said...

Parenting is just plain hard. It is hard to know when youre wrong or on the wrong path and when other people are wrong. I think that usually, us Moms, do know what is best for OUR kid though.

The New "Normal" said...

I know how you feel. It's especially hard with your first child. Everyone has an opinion and you fear missing something or making a mistake. When we put our son on meds for ADD we had so many opinions from family and friends, but we finally had to listen to ourselves and the doctor and make a decision that was right for our son. Just listen to your heart, you know your child best and don't ever let anyone make you feel like a failure! You are an awesome mom who obviously loves your children very much and will always try to make the best decisions for them!

Megan Barley said...

i am not a mommy yet but i can only imagine how hard it is to not listen to every opinion, etc that is out there. i appreciate your honesty in finding this difficult. i also like that you said you have your "mommy voice". they are your kiddos and you and your hubby know them the best.

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