Emotional Rollercoaster

And the saga continues....

Let me preface this that I try my best not to bash the Army on my blog.  After all, they are my husband's employer.  He works for them; I don't.  I don't usually feel it's my place to air the laundry concerning Army issues on my blog.  However, there are some times when the Army affects MY life so much that I need to talk about it partly for my own sanity and also to let people know what's going on in my life.

So to the issue.  Do you recall how bitter I've been recently about our cancelled move?  I may not have liked it, but I'd come to accept it.  Well, last week Pat got tentative orders for that move from his branch.  He immediately called them to inquire because he has been told he is "stop moved" and cannot move on.  Branch told Pat that they know about the request to keep Pat here, but they still plan on moving him.

I don't know if you can imagine the absolute elation Pat and I felt knowing that our dream assignment might actually work out.  We were flying high until Pat's LTC tells him that his unit plans on trying to get his orders deleted.  It is extremely disheartening to have the people you work with/for working against you.  Pat was devastated (and so was I).  Another call to branch tells Pat that they do not plan to delete his orders, and it will have to come from way up above for that to happen.  And again, we begin to feel a little comfort and joy about the idea that we may get what we want.

And then today we hear that the fight will be brought to a two-star general to fight with Army Human Resources.  (I am not sure if this is true or will happen.)  I can not adequately explain my feelings on this whole ordeal.  I guess I could say it is a combination of annoying, worrisome, frustrating, comical, and so much more.  

This situation is most of all stressful.  If it works out in our favor, we will be PCSing before our baby is born.  We need to sell our house in order to move.  We are running out of time.  If it doesn't work out for us, I'm not sure what we do in the future.  We will be heartbroken because this is not an assignment Pat can do later.  We had finally come to terms with losing it, but now I feel like we could lose it twice.

So that's where I'm at and what is going on here.  I'm not sure when I'll know more, but I really do hope and pray that this will end in the way I desire.  I'll let you know how it turns out when I know.  It wouldn't hurt if you could cross your fingers for us ;)

One Year of Command

Today marks the one year anniversary of the day Pat took command.  It's bittersweet.  During this past year a lot has happened--both good and bad.  Unfortunately the part that will stick in my head is that we were ready to be done and move on this spring to much better things, but this unit is preventing that.  Pat will have over another year in command.  All that said though, I really think this is leading us to a path that may just be the best one for us.

Other than the above anniversary, I've got very little to say/update on.  The kids are sleeping miserably in the new room.  They are taking 1.5-2 hours every night to go to sleep.  Tonight I'm moving the bedtime even earlier.  Sometimes they are waking in the middle of the night.  Since they're not sleeping well, they are even getting up early (6:30 a.m.) every day.  Plus being pregnant I'm finding it hard to be comfortable enough to sleep.  Add to all that 3 dogs trying to sleep in my bed too, and I wake up ready for a nap.

Maybe tomorrow when I'm not so grumpy I'll have more to write.

Pregnancy Update

I know I've mentioned my pregnancy on here in other posts, but I thought I'd give a little bit of an update and maybe even a few photos of how large my butt...errr... belly is getting.

So let me go back a while for a quick story first.  Around 10 weeks a friend in town let me borrow her doppler.  I had never used one at home with my other pregnancies, but I was having a hard time trying to make it until my 12 week appointment without any confirmation that things were going well.  I was nervous about trying to find the heartbeat at home, but thought if I did succeed it would give me some peace of mind.  Hubby and I nervously began looking for the heartbeat.  We mostly heard static and my own heartbeat.  I was beginning to worry and get frustrated.  We hadn't been patient enough to wait till the kids were in bed, so they were running around during all this.  Hubby went to get a snack for the boys and I continued looking.  I was just about to give up when I heard the beautiful sound.  Hubby heard it as he entered the room.  We shared a smile and sigh of relief.  I used the doppler one last time the night before my 12 week appointment, and I am so glad I did.
At my 12 week appointment they took out a doppler that looked like it belonged in the Ghostbusters movie or like an old-school boombox.  I hoped that they kept the old thing around so long because it was super good or something.  That wasn't the case though.  The midwife I was seeing couldn't find the heartbeat and calmly asked the nurse to bring the ultrasound machine in.  I was quite calm still because I knew the heartbeat could be difficult to find, and afterall, I had listened to it the night before.  Part of me was hoping they wouldn't get the doppler to find it so I could have the ultrasound, but a bit of me was starting to worry.  The ultrasound machine gets wheeled in, and she started looking at the baby.  My breath gets caught in my throat because I don't see any blinking on the screen.  My mind starts flooding with worry that in those past 24 hours since I heard the heartbeat something terrible must have happened.  The midwife says, "do you see the heartbeat?"  To which I reply, "I don't, but if you do that is great."  It turns out the ultrasound machine is about as old as that doppler.  Upon closer inspection of the screen, I could see the heart moving.  I finally felt happiness surge though me.  I even got a couple photos of baby from that whole ordeal.

So back to present.  I'm about 18 weeks now (give or take).  And from the looks of the photos, the baby is growing in my butt and thighs as well as my belly.  When this pregnancy began, I had high hopes to take belly pics where I looked glowing, well-dressed, and just cute.  Then reality hit me.  I hardly ever get out of sweatpants unless I have to, and I definitely do not feel beautiful.  So you'll have to settle for pictures of reality.

Here are some of the typical details:
How far along? 18 weeks
Sleep?  ehh, I'm usually a back sleeper, and that's not comfortable or safe in pregnancy, so I'm not sleeping as well as before the pregnancy.  The two little boys who wake me up don't help it either ;)
Movement?  I've started to feel taps and kicks.  I look forward to feeling more as he/she grows.
Food Cravings?  Thankfully for the first time in any of my pregnancies, I'm craving fruit.  I also sometimes crave light and fresh foods like salads or sandwiches.  But that doesn't mean I don't also crave ice cream too ;)  (and it's beginning to show)  It also happens that if I want something once most of the time I'll be grossed out by the thought of it after I eat it.
Anything make you queasy or sick?  As I said I'm feeling so much better these days.  In the evenings I sometimes feel gross, but overall things are pretty good now.
Gender?  We'll find out for sure in a couple of weeks.  We have a hunch, but I'll wait until we know for sure before I say anything.  Any guesses?
Symptoms?  I'm still pretty tired, but the lack of good sleep could be causing that.

So there you have it.  You are completely up to date with baby #3.