In all honesty, I'm not happy right now. There are certain aspects of my live that bring me incredible joy, like my two sons. They are completely amazing, and I would not trade spending my days with them for anything. However, it's the rest of what's around me that is bringing me down. I feel like I need a change, but I'm stuck in a holding pattern. And something that is making it worse is that Pat seems to be very content in the stick in the mud status quo. He almost seems resistant to change despite my insistence that it is something I (maybe even we) NEED. I feel as though I talk about this constantly and yet he isn't listening.
My feelings of unhappiness are bringing my spirit down. I am finding that I'm in a bad mood a lot lately. That is something I regret with every ounce of my being because my children deserve a fun and happy mother. I tell myself everyday that tomorrow will be a happy one, but I'm letting things that I cannot change color the rest of it.
I need to put a stop to it. I need to remember The Serenity Prayer:
I may be feeling stuck now and have to accept that right now I cannot change that. But I must also encourage myself that when the opportunity for change arises I must courageously take that leap of faith.
Linking up here:
13 comments:
Hang in there! Being in a stuck spot can be really rough. When I am in one, for whatever reason, I just try to remember this one line like a mantra: everything changes.
Ugh, I am sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope Pat realizes that marriage is a two-way street and the priorities of both parties need to be taken into consideration. Otherwise, one is going to be unhappy.
I hope the holding pattern is over soon. I know how incredibly frustrating it can be.
Thinking of you!
Karen
maybe you could find something for you to do that you enjoy outside of the mom role.. sometimes doing something for ourselves can give us a whole new perspective? Hang in there :)
I've been there. Look into counselling. A few sessions really helped me figure things out and if you go through militaryonesource, you get 5 free sessions. Talking with a neutral figure and having her validate my feelings helped a ton. Maybe it would help you too? Worth a shot.
I am int he exact same spot! I know how you feel, but we'll get past it. Just focus on the good things. Like your sons.
"when the opportunity for change arises I must courageously take that leap of faith." <--that is HUGE!
Exactly what I need to remind myself of today. Thank you for that.
I hope you find the change that you are looking for soon.
Hope you can pull yourself out of it! Make small changes- sometimes that's all that is needed!
I'm sorry your feeling like a stick in the mud! Sounds like you need to take some time for you.
Stopping by from the Wild Wednesday Hop.
Christina
Spilled Milkshake
So sorry that you feel unhappy Shelly.I know how it feels when husband dont listen. It was recently that I feel frustration too,and I showed it to him,I cant lie about it, I cant pretend..so after days of not talking ,eventually he gave up on me..I got what I want..(well,if your motto is patience)my motto is this..If mommy aint happy no one is happy" (smiles)
I hope you can find your way out of it! I think sometimes just spilling how we feel can help.
I will pray that you come out of this rut soon, I have been there myself but being a military wife for so long now has taught me, this too shall pass. I know you may not feel like doing much but is there a mom's group, or a church group (like ladies who get together once a week), a book club perhaps (I have seen these at book stores and libraries) or something like that. What about a MOPs type club where you can bring your kids? You will find that once you join something, even if you don't want too, you will end up making lifelong friends and by the time the military sends you somewhere else, you won't want to go. What about a coupon club in your area. I noticed our church is offering one. Just something to jump start you. I once joined a religious book club when we were stationed in Germany and I still keep in touch with some of these ladies. The hardest part is just putting yourself out there, but try it and you will see, in the end it will pay off with you making like minded friends.
PS when I first moved to Hawaii I didn't know anyone so I would bring my boys every day to the park on post and while they climbed I would read Love Inspired books, you know the religious Harlequin ones that you can get in any used bookstore for next to nothing. I went through tons of those but after sitting at the park day after day, alone, reading my books, I started to meet other moms who occasionally would bring there kids to the park, so this is just a thought.
PSS being a military wife also means in a way being a single mom and a wife without a husband a lot even when he is home, so I find having things of my own helps when he is here and when he is deployed.
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